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vulgarweed: (porn!)
Thursday, October 27th, 2016 02:42 pm
Written for the flash fic challenge at the Writing Erotica panel at Sherlock Seattle/Watson Washington.

Prompts: Mary, Sherlock Holmes (as played by Jeremy Brett in the Granada series), Collaring, Rough Sex, Mycroft's Private Plane, "What a thing to say, and on my birthday besides!"

The Bluestocking in Black Trousers at AO3

Also includes mild gunplay (because that always seems to happen with Mary) and Mary/John/Sherlock triad implied, in two different timelines.
Tags:
vulgarweed: (porn!)
Sunday, August 28th, 2016 05:14 pm
Pairing: Irene Adler/Mary Morstan
Rating: E
Tags: BDSM, Dom/sub, Leather Kink, Leather Boots, Boot Worship, Fur Kink, Frottage, Foot Fetish, Riding Crops, Servitude, Chaotic Neutral Women Loving Women, Crime DOES Pay, Service Kink, Suicidal Thoughts, Debt, Attempted Redemption, Kneeling, Crawling, Non-Platonic Sidekick Recruitment, Brief Scene of Auto-Gunplay
Warning: brief scene of suicidal ideation.


Summary: “Of course it’s very wrong, but we can’t all be moralists, and the distribution of wealth is very wrong to begin with.” (AJ Raffles, “The Ides of March,” E.W. Hornung)

“Mary Morstan” is a down-on-her luck assassin who’s been wanting to reform, but she finds herself deep in debt and thereby with even less hope for a retirement plan that isn’t made of lead. In desperation she appeals to a wealthier acquaintance - Irene Adler, The Woman, one of the top pro Dommes in the world. It turns out that Irene has another, even more lucrative source of income that isn’t quite cricket - and that’s where she needs an assistant. But before Mary is initiated into all Irene’s secrets, she first must pledge her loyalty. And it’s Irene’s business to deduce just what Mary really needs.

Venus Infers at AO3

This belongs to an AU I’ve had in my head for a long time, starring Irene and Mary as a kinky lesbian jewel heist team. Apologies are due to Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, the Velvet Underground, and most of all to E. W. Hornung.
vulgarweed: (ringbybleu-unicorn)
Sunday, May 1st, 2016 07:46 pm
I've been lax on posting the updates of this fic here - so sorry!

Chapter 8: The Last Flower of Silver, at AO3


Explicit
Archive Warning:
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category:
M/M
Fandoms: Sherlock/The Silmarillion
Rating: NC-17/E
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Sherlock/Gothmog
Content notes/warnings/enticements:
Shapeshifting, Kinslaying, More Shapeshifting Elemental Whip Magic, BDSM, Rope Bondage, Dubious Consent, Even More Dubious Tolkienian Theology, Crack, crackfic, Dom Sherlock, Sub Everybody Else, Dark Fuck Prince Running Loose in Middle-earth, Bang a Balrog (Get It On), Interspecies, Crossover, Canon-Typical Violence, Sensation Play, Temperature Play, Violent Sex, Voyeurism, Anal Sex, Painplay, Elemental Magic, Rough Sex, Stone Bondage, Impact Play, Rimming, Dubious Tolkienian Linguistic Discipline, Mild Cock & Ball Torture, Body Worship

Summary: "It's a bonny thing," said he. "Just see how it glints and sparkles. Of course it is a nucleus and focus of crime. Every good stone is. They are the devil's pet baits. In the larger and older jewels every facet may stand for a bloody deed.” - Sherlock Holmes, The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle, Arthur Conan Doyle

Sequel to With Both Hands Thou Shalt Give It. After Melkor murdered Finwë and stole the Silmarils, fleeing to the lands across the sea, Fëanor, the Silmarils’ maker, led an army in hot pursuit to avenge his father and reclaim his treasure, swearing an oath that would doom them all. And the Fëanorians were followed by the eccentric, brilliant, and fearlessly kinky Maia detective called Sérelókë, who can always be trusted to stick his nose (and other parts) into the meat of any fascinating and dangerous crime. In Beleriand, he will find a rich playground for all his passions, and meet a companion who will change his life forever.

Chapter 1:Aftermath Prologue - The Tale of the Journey to the East

In a time and place of safety after the Battle Under the Stars (and the main events of this story) Sérelókë tells the tale of how he came to cross the sea to Beleriand. He will take his sweet time - he has a captive audience.

Chapter 2: Elen Sila Lumenn Omentielvo

A star shines on the hour of their meeting.

Chapter 3: I Am More Sweet Than Other Meat

There's only one way to deal with creatures like the residents of the Valley of Dreadful Death - insult them!

Chapter 4: The Battlefield Under the Stars

Iaun would not choose to be bystander to a great battle - but Fëanor's fall is terrifying. And Iaun's new friend Sérelókë is more terrifying still.

Chapter 5: Where There's a Whip, There's a Way

Sérelókë confronts Gothmog, Lord of Balrogs, before the very gates of Angband. And Iaun discovers something about his new companion - and something about himself as well. (Specifically, a raging voyeurism kink.)

Chapter 6: Study in Flesh and Spirit

Wary and slow to trust he may be, but Iaun finds himself quick and reckless in desire - which is not at all the same thing. (An Elf is not quite so dangerous to seduce as a Balrog, but there is patience and artistry required in doing it properly.)

Chapter 7: Come Through Woe to Bliss

Iaun likes a lot of woe with his bliss, and even Sérelókë finds him quite a handful. Handfuls, even.

(this is the chapter that's just 8100 words of Sérelókë/Iaun BDSM - as only they can do it. Or would want to.)

Chapter 8: The Last Flower of Silver

Sérelókë and Iaun deepen their relationship, and see each other in a whole new light. A very literal new light.
vulgarweed: (tale_grew_by_nerwende)
Wednesday, December 9th, 2015 02:57 pm
At AO3


Explicit
Archive Warning:
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category:
M/M
Fandoms: Sherlock/The Silmarillion
Rating: NC-17/E
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Sherlock/Gothmog
Content notes/warnings/enticements: Shapeshifting, Kinslaying, More Shapeshifting, Elemental Whip Magic, BDSM, Rope Bondage, Dubious Consent, Even More Dubious Tolkienian Theology, Crack, crackfic, Dom Sherlock, Sub Everybody Else, Dark Fuck Prince Running Loose in Middle-earth, Bang a Balrog (Get It On), Interspecies, Crossover

Summary: "It's a bonny thing," said he. "Just see how it glints and sparkles. Of course it is a nucleus and focus of crime. Every good stone is. They are the devil's pet baits. In the larger and older jewels every facet may stand for a bloody deed.” - Sherlock Holmes, The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle, Arthur Conan Doyle

Sequel to With Both Hands Thou Shalt Give It. After Melkor murdered Finwë and stole the Silmarils, fleeing to the lands across the sea, Fëanor, the Silmarils’ maker, led an army in hot pursuit to avenge his father and reclaim his treasure, swearing an oath that would doom them all. And the Fëanorians were followed by the eccentric, brilliant, and fearlessly kinky Maia detective called Sérelókë, who can always be trusted to stick his nose (and other parts) into the meat of any fascinating and dangerous crime. In Beleriand, he will find a rich playground for all his passions, and meet a companion who will change his life forever.

Chapter 1

This will be posted serially; it's about 3/4 finished and thoroughly outlined. Projected word count looks to be in the 30-35k range; first chapter is about 5.
vulgarweed: (handbyarwen_elvenfair)
Sunday, September 6th, 2015 05:22 pm
Which is apparently the first day of every month now? Oh hell yes!

Long Hard Day

(Sherlock; Sherlock/Mary/John, rated M, 221B format)

John and Mary have apparently not mastered all the nuances of Sherlock's texting style.


Every Grain Has a Value

(Lord of the Rings; Frodo/Rosie/Sam, rated M, 200-word double drabble)

Frodo's scars find some healing.



Going to try to add something new to this every month.
vulgarweed: (come_by_jackshoegazer)
Monday, June 29th, 2015 02:00 pm
Fandom: Sherlock
Rating: E/NC-17
Word Count: 6,178
Pairing: Irene Adler/Mary Watson
Tags: BDSM, humiliation, catharsis, light flogging, caning, impact play, nipple torture, mild lactation kink, gunplay (of a sort), training, recreational scolding, kink as therapy, Dom Irene, Sub Mary, Chaotic Neutral Mary Wants to Be Chaotic Good, Chaotic Neutral Irene Likes Her Just the Way She Is, Strongly Implied (not-conventionally-sexual) Irene/Sherlock, Mary/John Mentioned
Author's Warning: This is a BDSM fantasy fic, not a how-to manual. While nothing really terrible happens in it, there are certainly some things that might be unsafe for some people in some circumstances. Some suspension of disbelief may be required.

Mary is stuck in a self-loathing spiral because she thinks she’s fucked up badly - and she’s not used to fucking up badly being something one can survive. She needs confession and catharsis. Who’s she going to to go to - a therapist? A priest? Nope. She’s going to seek out the type of specialist who actually can help her. (Spoiler alert: Irene does.)

There's a surprise guest star cameo at the end.

For both Femslash June and the ‘Humiliation’ square on my Seasons of Kink card.

The Passion That Slays and Recovers at AO3

This is actually the first time I've written really explicit BDSM femslash, and I'm a little excited and nervous about it. Feedback especially welcome.
vulgarweed: (OK by london_fan)
Tuesday, May 19th, 2015 09:57 pm
Fandoms: Sherlock (TV) / The Silmarillion and Other Histories of Middle-earth, J.R.R. Tolkien - works
Rating: Explicit
Pairing Type: Het
Word count: 6,757
Pairing: Sherlock/Ungoliant
Other Characters appearing: Yavanna, Manwë, Tulkas, Thorondor
Challenge/Collection: Category 5 Sex Hurricane Fest
Tags: Casefic, Murder Mystery, Interrogation, Bestiality, BDSM, Interspecies, Crossover, Giant Spider Sex, Yes I Went There, Bondage, Whipping, Xenosex, Shapeshifting, Top Sherlock, Sex Between Semi-Consenting Spiders, Oral Sex, You'd Call it Vaginal Sex If She Had a Vagina Which Technically She Doesn't, Spot the Pratchett Quote, Dub-con By Deception, Did I Mention Bestiality, Also Toplock If I Didn’t Mention That, Dom Sherlock, You Can’t Say I Didn’t Warn You

For the Category 5 Sex Hurricane Fest


Summary: Of all the residents of Valinor, the eccentric and disreputable Maia called Sérelókë would be the last person you’d expect a Valië to call upon in time of need. But Sérelókë is known for his observation and insights, and Yavanna Kementári will stop at nothing to learn the truth of who killed her beloved Trees, and why. Once set upon the trail, Sérelókë will also stop at nothing.

Really. I mean nothing.

And while I can’t take credit or blame for the original idea . . . oh wait, yes I can. I claimed my own prompt.

Notes:This story is not meant to reflect or imply any endorsement by the author of any acts depicted herein. Everything Sérelókë does is dirty, bad, wrong, and dangerous, and I just want to make sure you know I know that. If you, the reader, happen to be struggling with an issue related to the presence of a baleful evil from the Void in the form of a monstrous spider that devours light and vomits darkness, do not attempt to sexually dominate it.

I tried to find some survivors’ resources to link to, but I couldn’t. This might be because there aren’t any survivors.

  ***

This story was gang-beta’d and loved every second of it. Huge thanks to Marta, BlushingNewb, Winter_of_our_Discontent and Jinglebell for the careful and discerning eyes (eight eyes!) that helped this terrible fic become the best terrible it can be. Since I am an actual arachnophobe in real life, Winter found spider sex articles and vetted them for me to make sure the pictures weren’t too gross, and Jinglebell, who it turns out used to breed spiders, blessed me with a much better vocabulary for the Explicit parts - and inspired me to make it even dirtier.

With Both Hands Thou Shalt Give It, at AO3

spoilery end notes )

My earlier posts about my, ahem, creative process are all now unfriendslocked. this one sheds some light on my motive.
vulgarweed: (the game by isaac_of_nine)
Sunday, February 8th, 2015 09:57 pm
For the [livejournal.com profile] come_at_once challenge: written in about 7 hours. HUGE thanks to [livejournal.com profile] winter_hermit for the amazingly fast beta (probably helped that she was sitting next to me at a coffee shop).

Belt-Fed Cock
Rating: NC-17/E
Word Count: about 4100
'Verse: BBC
Pairing: John/Sherlock (and OMCs/Sherlock in fantasy)

Some babies are born with hair, or with teeth. Some with a caul, some with a tail. Sherlock Holmes was born with an olive drab bandana in his right pocket.

Content: Established relationship, Military Kink, BDSM, Consensual Gangbang Fantasy, Dirty Talk, Top!John, Bottom!Sherlock.

For [livejournal.com profile] come_at_once - [livejournal.com profile] mildred_bobbin tagged me with the prompt: “retribution.” The title is a British and Canadian military slang term that refers to long, hard, punishment or hardship, particularly when disproportionate to the infraction.

Belt-Fed Cock )
vulgarweed: (handbyarwen_elvenfair)
Friday, January 2nd, 2015 08:08 pm
I've been writing fanfic for 12 years, and this was my most prolific year by far!

I wrote 14 different stories - several different fandoms and three pieces of original fiction.

(Dates given are AO3 posting dates, which aren't necessarily the first posting, especially for challenges like Porn Battle)

1. (February 6, 2014, Porn Battle) Goldengrove Unleaving (The Hobbit, Galadriel/Gandalf, E, 875 words. Hurt/comforty vibe to this one. Battle of Five Armies vindicated the hell out of this story. Score!)

2. (February 7, 2014, Porn Battle) Start Me Up (Sherlock, Sherlock Holmes/Molly Hooper/John Watson, E, 1594 words. This is the NECROPHILIA ROLEPLAY fic. I regret nothing. Neither do any of the participants. This was also my first non-AU Sherlock story. Don't look at me that way, this is NOT AU. They SO totally did that.)

3. (February 13, 2014, Porn Battle) Polar Vortex (The Dresden Files, Harry Dresden/Thomas Raith, E, 2791 words. Chicago is frozen, and it's Harry Dresden's fault. Yup, that's some incesty sex-vampire/winter-knight mutual dubcon. Also a little hurt/comforty.)

4. (February 17, 2014, Porn Battle) Darkness Alone is Worshipful (The Silmarillion, Sauron/Ar-Pharazôn, E, 968. This creepy pairing is so canon this story just pretty much wrote itself, right down to the title, which is a quote.)

5. (February 17, 2014, Porn Battle) Genetic Markers (Sherlock, Sherlock Holmes/Mary Morstan/John Watson, E, 5146 words. The Porn Battle entry wasn't over 5,000 words - I just couldn't stop adding to it, and the last chapter wound up being a birthday mathom on July 6. Poly co-parenting fic involving conceiving a baby with insufferable-genius genes.)

6. (March 29, 2014) Bear Necessity (Sherlock, Bone-Fiddle-verse AU, E, 5302. My first attempt at BF-verse porn from Sherlock's POV. He's a verbose SOB. And he likes that bearskin rug a lot more than John does. Might be cheating by including here because it had been sitting on my hard drive for at least six months.)

7. (Spring 2014) Tempestuous, original fiction, forthcoming to be included in the New Smut Project's anthology (Published under the name Evadare Volney). (Virginia Dare/Madimia Dee, E, about 5,000 words).

8. (Begun posting Beltane 2014, finished near Mabon, 2014) The Straw Man Fallacy (Sherlock/The Wicker Man crossover, Sherlock/John, E, 40,422 words. When this idea hit me, it seemed so brilliantly obvious that I couldn't believe anyone else hadn't already done it, so I wrote it super fast so no one else would beat me to it. Turns out it's also the only Wicker Man fic on AO3 at all. Really? This is the longest fic I've ever written all by myself.)

9. (July/August 2014) The Adventure of the Cluck and Balls, a collaboration with [livejournal.com profile] winter_hermit. (Sherlock mostly, but we think it'll also give fans of Hannibal, Welcome to Night Vale, Supernatural, and Doctor Who a good chuckle. T, 5748 words. This one had to be written fast too, before the ball pit jokes got too old. Because it's totally about DashCon.)

10. (October 2014), Lustful Cockweed (original, sort of autobiographical, 562 words). Adventures in phallic, eldritch gardening.

11. (October 31, 2014) The Terror of Rushy Hollow (Lord of the Rings, T, gen, OCs, 4106 words. This is a story idea I've had kicking around in my head for 10 years, and I finally got it written down on posted on Halloween night. Not a crossover, but it is a bit of a pastiche and fusion)

12. (December 2014) Dentata, original Lovecraftian/Cthulhu Mythos fiction, gen, 3872 words, submitted to the open call for She Walks in Shadows, a forth-coming all-woman Lovecraft anthology. Should hear back in a couple months, wish me luck!

13. (December 2014) He's Coming To Us Dead (Sherlock, Bone-Fiddle-verse AU, Sherlock/John, E, 13397 words. This was my payment to [livejournal.com profile] winter_hermit for that fantastic cover art for the Straw Man Fallacy fanmix - she requested a Bone-Fiddle-verse ghost story. This one is part Appalachian folklore, part The Hounds of Baskerville and the Gloria Scott, and a hot mess of angst and make-up sex. As always, I regret nothing.)

14. (November-December 2014) The Widening Gyre (Good Omens, Aziraphale/Crowley, Historical/Literary RPF, PG-13, 5,996 words) I've been wanting to write a historical story with W.B. Yeats as a prominent character for years, so I couldn't believe my good luck when [livejournal.com profile] tomato_greens asked for one in the [livejournal.com profile] go_exchange. I had a GREAT time writing this one.


That's over 90,000 words (always going to be fuzzy since one of them is a collaboration and I wrote a few drabbles I'm not counting here)! Not a big deal for some writers, but it is for me because I tend to be pokey.

So, 12 years on, I love fic as much as ever and probably a little bit more.

Current works-in-progress for January:

1) an original story to form the framework of my mom's narrative dance (we collaborate for Mysticon every year). Loose adaptation of The Descent of Inanna with a steampunk vibe and H.G. Wells influence.

2) a Bone-Fiddle-verse 221B

3) a short Hobbit fix-it fic (Bilbo/Thorin) involving the mithril shirt and a surprisingly sympathetic Thranduil
vulgarweed: (ineffablelove_by_cinnamonblood)
Thursday, January 1st, 2015 09:27 pm
Let me take this opportunity to rec the hell out of the story that was written for me: Sherbert Holmes and the Elephant of Surprise, by [livejournal.com profile] miscellanny

Yes, it's a Good Omens/Sherlock crossover, and the prompt filled was: "Mrs. Hudson leaves Baker Street. England falls." But of course I wanted the Good Omens cast doing their usual great work at Apocalypse-foiling, and what I got was so, so much better than I could ever have imagined. It's metafictional, it's multilayered, it's rich and hilarious, and it does a much much better job than either canon does with female characters: Madame Tracy, Anathema, and Mrs. Hudson are hilarious, clever, and beautifully drawn. And if you're wondering where Adam Young comes in . . . read it, just read it. You won't be sorry.


I wrote The Widening Gyre, for [livejournal.com profile] tomato_greens. T-G wanted a story involving the poems "Easter, 1916" or "Leda and the Swan" and said that a historical setting and W.B. Yeats himself as a character would be extra-great, so that's exactly what I did. Historical fiction set shortly before and after the 1916 Easter Rising, a bit of compare-and-contrast between the developing, ever-changing relationship between Aziraphale and Crowley, and the never-consummated but lifelong weird relationship between W.B. Yeats and Maud Gonne. (All the best lines are Yeats's, not mine of course - though the meanest ones definitely come from A. Crowley. No, not that A. Crowley. The other one.)

The Widening Gyre on AO3
vulgarweed: (tree_by_aurora_starwing)
Monday, December 29th, 2014 01:48 pm
For [livejournal.com profile] corpsereviver2, inspired by the wondrous holiday card she sent me.


Title: "Deck the Hearse and Kiss the Driver (Or Maybe Vice Versa)"
Fandom: Sherlock (Bone-Fiddle-verse, Appalachian AU)
Pairing: Sherlock/John
Rating: PG, tops.
Words: 221
Warnings: none
Summary: John surprises Sherlock for a change.

Fa la la la la la la )

Happy Holidays, y'all!
vulgarweed: (tree_by_aurora_starwing)
Tuesday, December 16th, 2014 01:33 pm
Fandom: Sherlock (Bone-Fiddle-verse; 1970s Appalachian AU)
Pairing: Sherlock/John
Characters: Greg Lestrade, Sally Donovan, Mycroft Holmes, OCs
Rating: NC-17/Explicit
Word count: 13,397
Summary: The war is ending and the troops are returning. They do not always mean well. Their loved ones are not always glad to see them. A case straight out of an old folktale has deep repercussions for Sherlock and John.
Warnings: References to period-typical racism and homophobia, paranormal ambiguity, mild (canon-typical) violence, references to drug use

Giftfic for [livejournal.com profile] winter_hermit, as payback for the wonderful cover art for the Straw Man Fallacy fanmix

The title comes from this song

The story is based on the version known as “Murder in the Meadow,” from James Gay Jones’s collection “Appalachian Ghost Stories and Other Tales.” Also contains references/homages to several ACD stories, and several episodes of the show.


He's Coming To Us Dead on AO3


Enjoy!
vulgarweed: (OK by london_fan)
Friday, November 21st, 2014 08:34 pm
Title: Decoration Day
Fandom: Sherlock (Appalachian AU)
Pairing: Sherlock/John
Rating: Mature
Word Count: 442 (double 221B format)
Warnings: None really, except offstage long-ago NPC death and reminders of graveyard sex.
Summary: What has Sherlock done now? Is it a gift? An apology? A thank-you? Whatever it is, it's a little bit sweet and a little bit morbid.

Decoration Day )

Note: "Decoration Day" is the original name of Memorial Day. Many Southerners still call it that, and observe it in the traditional way.
vulgarweed: (glovebyarwen_elvenfair)
Friday, October 31st, 2014 01:26 pm
Title: The Terror of Rushy Hollow
Fandom: The Lord of the Rings
author: [livejournal.com profile] vulgarweed
Rating: PG
Pairing: None really - Hobbit OC-centric
Summary:One dark autumn night in the Shire, a rejected suitor leaves a harvest festival with a heavy heart - and a head swimming with eerie stories. Particularly of a new terror never seen in the Shire before: the ghastly spectre the locals call the Faceless Horseman.

Those familiar with The Red Book of Westmarch will recognise this as a rustic, romanticised, and garbled hobbit-centric account of certain alarming events that occurred in the Shire in the autumn of TA 3018, on the eve of the War of the Ring.

Those familiar with more recent literature will note that this story bears such a strong resemblance to the plot of Washington Irving's story "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow," one realises Mr Irving must have had some passing acquaintance with Middle-earth folklore.

The Terror of Rushy Hollow at AO3


Happy Halloween, Shirelings!
vulgarweed: (OK by london_fan)
Tuesday, September 16th, 2014 06:14 pm
Title: The Straw Man Fallacy
Fandoms: Sherlock/The Wicker Man (1973)
Pairing: Sherlock/John
Other Characters: Lord Summerisle, Miss Rose, Willow MacGregor, Alder MacGregor, Mr. Lennox, The Librarian, other Summerisle villagers and OCs
Rating: NC-17/explicit

Summary:
“Mr Holmes, I'm not in the habit of approaching . . . consultants. But you are correct. I have great faith in our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. And until recently, I also had faith in the rule of law. Only the second one has wavered. Three years ago my fiancé, Sgt. Neil Howie of the West Highlands Constabulary, went to investigate an anonymous report of a missing child in a remote place called Summerisle. He never communicated with me while he was there, and he never returned.”

Summerisle is not a welcoming place to visitors, but it shows its best face at May Day. For ulterior motives.

Epilogue: Attained at the End of Desire

One year later, Sherlock and John make a return visit to Summerisle. This time, it's personal.

This story is now COMPLETE. Completely.

Read it at AO3 if you prefer.

Attained at the End of Desire )

Entire Story on AO3

Chapter 1 on LJ
Chapter 2 on LJ
Chapter 3 on LJ
Chapter 4 on LJ
Chapter 5 on LJ
Chapter 6 on LJ
Chapter 7 on LJ


Whew. What a long, strange trip it's been. Huge thanks go out to [livejournal.com profile] winter_hermit and [livejournal.com profile] snogandagrope for epic beta-reading, and to all the readers who've supported this story chapter-by-chapter. Could not have done it without you. Truly.
vulgarweed: (the game by isaac_of_nine)
Wednesday, August 6th, 2014 01:48 pm
My collaboration with [livejournal.com profile] winter_hermit. Yes, it took two people to produce this!

Title: The Adventure of the Cluck and Balls
Fandom: Mostly Sherlock, plus the kitchen-sink
Authors: [livejournal.com profile] vulgarweed and [livejournal.com profile] winter_hermit
Rating: T
Content/Warnings: Ball Pit, Dead Body in a Ball Pit, Cross-Dressing, Ball-Groping in a Ball Pit, Drug References, Bestiality References, Multi-Fandom Clusterfuck, Case Fic, Crack Fic

Summary: There’s a dead body in the ball pit. Luckily, Sherlock’s on the case (and John’s on Sherlock. Not like that. Okay, maybe a bit like that. But those balls are slippery!)

The Adventure of the Cluck and Balls

Author's Notes: See AO3 link for more.

Any apparent relationships between events in this story and recent fan convention shenanigans are entirely [REDACTED].
vulgarweed: (tree_by_aurora_starwing)
Saturday, June 28th, 2014 06:15 pm
Title: The Straw Man Fallacy
Fandoms: Sherlock/The Wicker Man (1973)
Pairing: Sherlock/John
Other Characters: Lord Summerisle, Miss Rose, Willow MacGregor, Alder MacGregor, Mr. Lennox, The Librarian, other Summerisle villagers and OCs
Rating: NC-17/explicit

Summary:
“Mr Holmes, I'm not in the habit of approaching . . . consultants. But you are correct. I have great faith in our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. And until recently, I also had faith in the rule of law. Only the second one has wavered. Three years ago my fiancé, Sgt. Neil Howie of the West Highlands Constabulary, went to investigate an anonymous report of a missing child in a remote place called Summerisle. He never communicated with me while he was there, and he never returned.”

Summerisle is not a welcoming place to visitors, but it shows its best face at May Day. For ulterior motives.

Chapter 6, Sumer is Icumen In

Summerislanders will be talking about this one for decades.

Sumer Is Icumen In )

Entire Story on AO3

Chapter 1 on LJ
Chapter 2 on LJ
Chapter 3 on LJ
Chapter 4 on LJ
Chapter 5 on LJ
vulgarweed: (the game by isaac_of_nine)
Saturday, June 14th, 2014 06:24 pm
Title: The Straw Man Fallacy
Fandoms: Sherlock/The Wicker Man (1973)
Pairing: Sherlock/John
Other Characters: Lord Summerisle, Miss Rose, Willow MacGregor, Alder MacGregor, Mr. Lennox, The Librarian, other Summerisle villagers and OCs
Rating: NC-17/explicit (eventually)

Summary:
“Mr Holmes, I'm not in the habit of approaching . . . consultants. But you are correct. I have great faith in our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. And until recently, I also had faith in the rule of law. Only the second one has wavered. Three years ago my fiancé, Sgt. Neil Howie of the West Highlands Constabulary, went to investigate an anonymous report of a missing child in a remote place called Summerisle. He never communicated with me while he was there, and he never returned.”

Summerisle is not a welcoming place to visitors, but it shows its best face at May Day. For ulterior motives.

Chapter 5, Aught of Sacrifice

Foolish Sherlock and horny John take their places in Summerisle's great festival. The Game is On.




Chapter 5, Aught of Sacrifice )
vulgarweed: (tree_by_aurora_starwing)
Thursday, June 5th, 2014 02:44 pm
Title: The Straw Man Fallacy
Fandoms: Sherlock/The Wicker Man (1973)
Pairing: Sherlock/John
Other Characters: Lord Summerisle, Miss Rose, Willow MacGregor, Alder MacGregor, Mr. Lennox, The Librarian, other Summerisle villagers and OCs
Rating: NC-17/explicit (eventually)

Summary:
“Mr Holmes, I'm not in the habit of approaching . . . consultants. But you are correct. I have great faith in our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. And until recently, I also had faith in the rule of law. Only the second one has wavered. Three years ago my fiancé, Sgt. Neil Howie of the West Highlands Constabulary, went to investigate an anonymous report of a missing child in a remote place called Summerisle. He never communicated with me while he was there, and he never returned.”

Summerisle is not a welcoming place to visitors, but it shows its best face at May Day. For ulterior motives.

Chapter 4, The Burning Times
Having declined one indecent proposal, Sherlock makes one of his own. And takes on two new clients.



Chapter 4: The Burning Times )

Entire Story on AO3

Chapter 4 on AO3


Chapter 1 on LJ
Chapter 2 on LJ
Chapter 3 on LJ
vulgarweed: (brew_by_bisty)
Thursday, May 1st, 2014 01:40 pm
Title: The Straw Man Fallacy
Fandoms: Sherlock/The Wicker Man (1973)
Pairing: Sherlock/John
Other Characters: Lord Summerisle, Miss Rose, Willow MacGregor, Alder MacGregor, Mr. Lennox, The Librarian, other Summerisle villagers and OCs
Rating: NC-17/explicit (eventually)

Summary:
“Mr Holmes, I'm not in the habit of approaching . . . consultants. But you are correct. I have great faith in our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. And until recently, I also had faith in the rule of law. Only the second one has wavered. Three years ago my fiancé, Sgt. Neil Howie of the West Highlands Constabulary, went to investigate an anonymous report of a missing child in a remote place called Summerisle. He never communicated with me while he was there, and he never returned.”

Summerisle is not a welcoming place to visitors, but it shows its best face at May Day. For ulterior motives.

Notes:
This story depicts religious culture clashes, and I'm doing my best to be at least as respectful to both as the original movie (which might not be saying much). If it comes up, though, yeah, I'm hella Pagan. IME, Pagans love us some Wicker Man. Put three Pagans in a room with a DVD player, and sooner or later, it'll spontaneously start.

This takes place in a world where Reichenbach has happened and Mary hasn't, because Reichenbach fits the plot and Mary doesn't. This also takes place in the 2010s, not the 1970s. Sherlock and John are still technologically screwed.

This is a crossover with the 1973 version of course, but it does include at least one homage to the impressively terrible 2006 remake. I promise it will stay, like poultry farming on Summerisle, Cage-free.

One million thank yous to [livejournal.com profile] winter_hermit for the quick and righteous beta!

AO3 link

Chapter 1: Oak and Ash and Thorn )

Chapter 2