Jul. 4th, 2003

vulgarweed: (Default)
I'll admit this: as a child, I thought birthdays and Christmas were cool 'cause you got presents, and Halloween 'cause you got to dress up. Didn't see what was supposed to be so fun about any of the other official holidays. (Am utterly indifferent to turkey, for example.)

(Except for the Pagan holidays, I still don't.)

Note to the neighbors:
Am fond of the fireworks that are sparkly and pretty and have colors, but there's no point to them in the daytime. Have nothing but loathing for the kind that generate nothing but jarring explosions that set off every car alarm on the block, and for the yahoos who set them off. I do most earnestly hope to see the sidewalk strewn with burnt, severed, and popped out fingers, penises, and eyeballs in the morning, and if any of you overgrown-or-otherwise short-bus children cause my late-middle-aged-and-overweight cat to have a heart attack, I WILL sue you for everything your trashy family has ever hoped to own. By the way, considering that we DO live in a neighborhood where not every pop-pop-bang-bang represents wholesome 'Murikun pseudoviolence (it is often enough the real deal), should one of our local surly and trigger-happy young men decide to shoot back in your general direction, or if any of our local unbalanced war vets hears the explosions and starts seeing Viet Cong everywhere again, don't let me see you on the news sobbing about "tragedy." Coffin. Made. Lie.

July 4th is also the suckiest holiday because it also has the suckiest weather, and this year is no exception. July 4th also sucks because it steals attention from my imminent birthday. When I was a kid all the party favors I could find were always in friggin' red, white, and blue, which has to be the ugliest combination of colors ever devised prior to the disco era.

July 6 is my birthday, and this will be the first one when I can't call my sistahfiend Nicole and wish her a happy birthday too. (Well, I suppose I can, but not on the phone.) I miss her. Please take care of her, Hecate.
vulgarweed: (Default)
I'll admit this: as a child, I thought birthdays and Christmas were cool 'cause you got presents, and Halloween 'cause you got to dress up. Didn't see what was supposed to be so fun about any of the other official holidays. (Am utterly indifferent to turkey, for example.)

(Except for the Pagan holidays, I still don't.)

Note to the neighbors:
Am fond of the fireworks that are sparkly and pretty and have colors, but there's no point to them in the daytime. Have nothing but loathing for the kind that generate nothing but jarring explosions that set off every car alarm on the block, and for the yahoos who set them off. I do most earnestly hope to see the sidewalk strewn with burnt, severed, and popped out fingers, penises, and eyeballs in the morning, and if any of you overgrown-or-otherwise short-bus children cause my late-middle-aged-and-overweight cat to have a heart attack, I WILL sue you for everything your trashy family has ever hoped to own. By the way, considering that we DO live in a neighborhood where not every pop-pop-bang-bang represents wholesome 'Murikun pseudoviolence (it is often enough the real deal), should one of our local surly and trigger-happy young men decide to shoot back in your general direction, or if any of our local unbalanced war vets hears the explosions and starts seeing Viet Cong everywhere again, don't let me see you on the news sobbing about "tragedy." Coffin. Made. Lie.

July 4th is also the suckiest holiday because it also has the suckiest weather, and this year is no exception. July 4th also sucks because it steals attention from my imminent birthday. When I was a kid all the party favors I could find were always in friggin' red, white, and blue, which has to be the ugliest combination of colors ever devised prior to the disco era.

July 6 is my birthday, and this will be the first one when I can't call my sistahfiend Nicole and wish her a happy birthday too. (Well, I suppose I can, but not on the phone.) I miss her. Please take care of her, Hecate.
vulgarweed: (Default)
Am going to obligatory BBQ. Am supposed to bring beer, and ALL THE FUCKING STORES ARE CLOSED! Hate, hate, hate it when the third largest city in the friggin' country decides to act like it's some dusty-ass teetotalin' rural shithole with tumbleweeds rollin' down the street on a Sunday.

And how by all that's holy did I manage to get toothpaste in my eye? Ow.

May be extra pissy due to, um, ragtime, and I don't mean Scott Joplin. And the Kitty-Boy has gone up to Madison to the ol' swimmin' hole with some old college-era buddies (guys only, and I don't even get to watch!). Can't be too snitty 'cause I did take off myself last weekend to see Femmes....but dammit, our bedroom's air-conditioned, so I have no reason to be glad he's gone!
vulgarweed: (Default)
Am going to obligatory BBQ. Am supposed to bring beer, and ALL THE FUCKING STORES ARE CLOSED! Hate, hate, hate it when the third largest city in the friggin' country decides to act like it's some dusty-ass teetotalin' rural shithole with tumbleweeds rollin' down the street on a Sunday.

And how by all that's holy did I manage to get toothpaste in my eye? Ow.

May be extra pissy due to, um, ragtime, and I don't mean Scott Joplin. And the Kitty-Boy has gone up to Madison to the ol' swimmin' hole with some old college-era buddies (guys only, and I don't even get to watch!). Can't be too snitty 'cause I did take off myself last weekend to see Femmes....but dammit, our bedroom's air-conditioned, so I have no reason to be glad he's gone!

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