Mmmmm...this whole conversation, and your comment specifically, brings to mind *many* an odd interaction with our contractor, Wayne Earp (yes, you *did* read that right, and that *is* his real name). Fortunately we love the guy. He's, well, a "character", in the truest sense of the word; an ol' Virginia boy with a mouth full of chaw t'bacca such that half the time you have to pause and suss out just exactly what it was he just said (mumbled, really) in your head before you can reply to him. But he shows up when he says he's going to and doesn't leave 'til he's done, and for that alone he's worth his weight in gold. Amazing how many contractors will rip shit apart and then disappear for 3 weeks or more without a peep -- or at least this is what I hear from everybody else, and I guess that's true for fence guys too because we've been trying to get a fence for 3 years now...sheesh. But I digress. Wayne, for all his quirks, is awesome, and the only contractor I've ever heard of who actually charges *less* than the estimate if the project actually came in under budget. And shows up within minutes all aflurry if there's even the slightest suspicion that there might be a problem with anything he did. I could sing his praises for hours -- but the point of all my rambling is that we live in a truly deranged little house. Rather, the house is great, but the guy who lived here before us was deranged, and did some truly bizarre and unfortunate things to our house. Mostly we fix it ourselves because we can't afford not to. But when necessary we bring in Wayne, who never ceases to be amazed at the bizarre messes he uncovers. Which leads to conversations like this one:

Wayne: "Damn. What say we go find that guy who lived here before & go smack him around a bit?
my husband: "Wayne, we can't. He's dead.
Wayne: "Huh. Well. Howsabout you & me go down to bar, have ourselves a few beers, and then go piss on his grave?"

Yep. And yes, that conversation actually happened.

Anyway, I'm rambling (again). But what I *really* meant to tell you was that yeah, sure, we're the customers, so we dictate terms -- NOT. We joked once to Wayne about having to find another contractor and he just laughed at us and said, "You can't *find* another contractor willing to work on *this* house."

Uh huh. And the thing of it is, he's probably right.