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vulgarweed(sigh).
Okay, so it goes like this. I'm kind of a frequent flyer at the Library of Moria slash archive. Tthe other night I was cruising their guestbook and saw they had a bit of a moron-flamer problem going on, and it struck me funny that one of the frothing dolts was signing in as "Witch King of the Nazgul." Now, I am NOT actually the Witch-King myself (despite what it says a few entries down), but it just so happens one of my most persistent Muses is.
So because I'd had some coffee and decided I had at least as much right to snark about with that persona as this dolt, I decided to do a little Tolkienslashy performance art in the guest book. (it was a one-woman show; I played the part of Shelob too - yes, I trade insulty banter with myself all the time, why do you ask?)
I thought it was amusing at best really, and felt bad about taking up more than my fair share of guestbook space with it, but I never would have suspected that there would be people who didn't get the joke! Yes, guestbook entries run in reverse order, but that alone doesn't seem enough to explain it. You be the judge.
Here are the entries, in the correct order, immediately following the [first] "Witch-King"'s homophobic rant. All misspellings intentional and in keeping with the "style" of the original post:
From: THE GIRL WITH THE EYE ROLL
Comments: Don't let the Bitch-King get to you. Sauron's been really busy lately, and Witchypoo always goes on a rampage when he ain't gettin' enough.
From: THE WITCH KING OF THE NAZGUL
Comments: DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!! "Girl?" DOnt mntion eyes to me....grumblegrumble...cantblieve I caught him with theMouthofSauron last night....
From:SHE
Comments: I have eight eyes, and yes, they roll, and I want to pluck them all out after some of the sights I've seen around here. How do you think he *got* the name "Mouth of Sauron" anyway, you untellectual demon, you? Oh what, you think he's been faithful to you and those other eight sniffling stiffs he calls "lieutenants" since the Second Age? Get a grip, ghosty-boy. And bring me some Orc, I'm hungry.
From:THE WITCH KING OF THE NAZGUL
Comments: I SMEL FISH!!! Shut up, you fat arachnid bitch!
From:SHE
Comments: I smell something worse. Black breath, phew. You managed to spell "arachnid." Not bad. Can you manage "misogynist?" Didn't think so. You wraiths are just like women anyway--some dorky fallen Maia gives you a promise and a pretty ring and your brains fall out.
Hardly worth all the kaffufle, but there you go. Apologies to the good folks at LoM for taking up even more spots trying in vain to explain myself.
Okay, so it goes like this. I'm kind of a frequent flyer at the Library of Moria slash archive. Tthe other night I was cruising their guestbook and saw they had a bit of a moron-flamer problem going on, and it struck me funny that one of the frothing dolts was signing in as "Witch King of the Nazgul." Now, I am NOT actually the Witch-King myself (despite what it says a few entries down), but it just so happens one of my most persistent Muses is.
So because I'd had some coffee and decided I had at least as much right to snark about with that persona as this dolt, I decided to do a little Tolkienslashy performance art in the guest book. (it was a one-woman show; I played the part of Shelob too - yes, I trade insulty banter with myself all the time, why do you ask?)
I thought it was amusing at best really, and felt bad about taking up more than my fair share of guestbook space with it, but I never would have suspected that there would be people who didn't get the joke! Yes, guestbook entries run in reverse order, but that alone doesn't seem enough to explain it. You be the judge.
Here are the entries, in the correct order, immediately following the [first] "Witch-King"'s homophobic rant. All misspellings intentional and in keeping with the "style" of the original post:
From: THE GIRL WITH THE EYE ROLL
Comments: Don't let the Bitch-King get to you. Sauron's been really busy lately, and Witchypoo always goes on a rampage when he ain't gettin' enough.
From: THE WITCH KING OF THE NAZGUL
Comments: DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!! "Girl?" DOnt mntion eyes to me....grumblegrumble...cantblieve I caught him with theMouthofSauron last night....
From:SHE
Comments: I have eight eyes, and yes, they roll, and I want to pluck them all out after some of the sights I've seen around here. How do you think he *got* the name "Mouth of Sauron" anyway, you untellectual demon, you? Oh what, you think he's been faithful to you and those other eight sniffling stiffs he calls "lieutenants" since the Second Age? Get a grip, ghosty-boy. And bring me some Orc, I'm hungry.
From:THE WITCH KING OF THE NAZGUL
Comments: I SMEL FISH!!! Shut up, you fat arachnid bitch!
From:SHE
Comments: I smell something worse. Black breath, phew. You managed to spell "arachnid." Not bad. Can you manage "misogynist?" Didn't think so. You wraiths are just like women anyway--some dorky fallen Maia gives you a promise and a pretty ring and your brains fall out.
Hardly worth all the kaffufle, but there you go. Apologies to the good folks at LoM for taking up even more spots trying in vain to explain myself.
