Humbug

Dec. 14th, 2011 06:01 pm
vulgarweed: (buggre_by_dwightsredshoes)
La la la, working on two exchange fics tonight, la la la Both canon sources are comedies, as are both fics, ideally.

I don't feel funny. I am grumpy mcgrumpypants. Everything is annoying to me. The weather sucks. I am getting interrupted a lot. I desperately need a freelancing check that I have been owed for over a month that isn't here. It feels like it's been that time of the month for weeks now and I'm sick of having a gruesome murder scene in my pants. My cat still thinks knocking things over on purpose is hilarious and that's not the kind of humor that will work for me right now. Looking at funny pictures isn't helping. Maybe I should go all reverse-psychology and look at pictures of dead children or something.

HRUMPH.

NOT FUNNY.
vulgarweed: (buggre_by_dwightsredshoes)
And, once again, the wireless internet is causing me trouble in my apartment.

Honestly, a big part of it is that I know my computer is very old and out of date. It's a mac G3, 900 MHz Power PC.

It was several years old when I bought it 2nd hand in '07 for roughly $350 -- which was a huge amount of money to me at the time, and is still huge to me now.

It's the best I can do! I can't throw my computer out; it still works. I don't have a spare amount of hundreds of dollars to buy the next-used model. There is NOTHING wrong with my laptop--except that it won't accept the latest updates for the wireless network that all my roommates take for granted.

I'll be honest - I'm crying right now. I just feel so humiliated. I am not "poor" in the sense of chronic food insecurity (yet), but I am definitely feeling "poor" in a sense that I feel judged for being unable to afford a computer that's up to The Latest Network Standards, so I always often wind up where I am right now, with an ethernet cord plugged into the router downstairs. I can't have Internet in my 3rd floor room, obviously. :(
vulgarweed: (procrastinate)
If I never see another cardboard box in my life, it'll be too soon. Alas, they're a pretty basic building block of my universe right now.

Tonight's massive job: sorting books. Which ones are coming with me and which are going into storage (with friends, whom I hope will enjoy them while they're playing host). So I've got two sets of boxes right now - the ones I can afford to part with for now, and the ones that are important to research I've got going on for three (3) longterm fiction projects.

My head's starting to spin.

Please, if you've got links handy, link me to fun stuff to look at on my breaks? (preferably funny, porny or both.)


Here's something interesting as an offering:

Someone at the aforementioned Dresden Files Kink Meme requested a medieval AU and got Life in Medieval Chicago. With bonus racebending. Much cooler than a medieval European AU, IMO. (Why yes, Chicago--or at least shikaakwa--does mean something like "Stinky Onion" or "Place of Stinky Onions" in the Algonquian language of the area. That's why the satirical newspaper The Onion is called that.)
vulgarweed: (buggre_by_dwightsredshoes)
I have to move in 3 weeks. Blergh. Have appointments to look at two places tomorrow--wish me luck!
vulgarweed: (Default)
A virtual Dune Buggy! Awesome! Thank you, [livejournal.com profile] celandineb! <3


Man, going down into the subway stations is like walking into an oven....where someone is baking a urine cake. (Like a rum cake, but with piss.)


This is the time of year when summer has so completely overstayed its welcome that I went into squealing waves of joy to see that Walgreens is starting to roll the Halloween candy out.
vulgarweed: (snoopy_by_roseinshadow)
Am working on [livejournal.com profile] lgbtfest fic, which is in LOTR fandom, and remembering that what I loved to write about most in Middle-earth are the characters on the edges and corners and margins who never got anything resembling their full stories told, because they are the ones who made Tolkien's worldbuilding as vivid and deep and enduring as it is. Every fictional world should be like that: the sense that the main narrative is by necessity only a tiny tip of the iceberg.

I'm feeling melancholy, though. Often, writers say that they look at their old stories and are embarrassed by how bad they are. Sometimes, I look at my old stories and think, "I wrote that?" and start to feel that I was once so much more confident and imaginative than I am now, and worry I might never be that good again.
vulgarweed: (snoopy_by_roseinshadow)
Am working on [livejournal.com profile] lgbtfest fic, which is in LOTR fandom, and remembering that what I loved to write about most in Middle-earth are the characters on the edges and corners and margins who never got anything resembling their full stories told, because they are the ones who made Tolkien's worldbuilding as vivid and deep and enduring as it is. Every fictional world should be like that: the sense that the main narrative is by necessity only a tiny tip of the iceberg.

I'm feeling melancholy, though. Often, writers say that they look at their old stories and are embarrassed by how bad they are. Sometimes, I look at my old stories and think, "I wrote that?" and start to feel that I was once so much more confident and imaginative than I am now, and worry I might never be that good again.
vulgarweed: (buggre_by_dwightsredshoes)
Ever have one of those? Where you feel like everything you touch turns to SHIT?

This too will pass, it's just a psychic vitamin deficiency or something, but I had to walk out of work early, I felt so hostile and crabby and sulky and tired. Both my jobs require a certain projection of charisma and cockiness (within certain artful limits to do well, and I'm usually pretty good at faking it til ya make it, but I was just UTTERLY lacking in the mojo of all kinds.

The news about Terry Pratchett didn't help. But you know, a big part of the reason why he's my ultimate "comfort writer" is that I suspect there's a great big loud voice in his head that says often, sternly, but affectionately, "Stop snivelling and get on with it." It sure comes through in his writing. It sounds like a harsh voice at first, but really, ultimately, there's no better way of coping with shit, is there? Sooner or later, you have to do just that or you'll get dust all over your bones and you still won't have gotten anything done. Being encouraged to wallow is the worst kind of compassion, because it doesn't actually improve anything.
vulgarweed: (buggre_by_dwightsredshoes)
Ever have one of those? Where you feel like everything you touch turns to SHIT?

This too will pass, it's just a psychic vitamin deficiency or something, but I had to walk out of work early, I felt so hostile and crabby and sulky and tired. Both my jobs require a certain projection of charisma and cockiness (within certain artful limits to do well, and I'm usually pretty good at faking it til ya make it, but I was just UTTERLY lacking in the mojo of all kinds.

The news about Terry Pratchett didn't help. But you know, a big part of the reason why he's my ultimate "comfort writer" is that I suspect there's a great big loud voice in his head that says often, sternly, but affectionately, "Stop snivelling and get on with it." It sure comes through in his writing. It sounds like a harsh voice at first, but really, ultimately, there's no better way of coping with shit, is there? Sooner or later, you have to do just that or you'll get dust all over your bones and you still won't have gotten anything done. Being encouraged to wallow is the worst kind of compassion, because it doesn't actually improve anything.

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