Look! I'm trying to write! *crash*

[vulgarweed]

Am working on lgbtfest fic, which is in LOTR fandom, and remembering that what I loved to write about most in Middle-earth are the characters on the edges and corners and margins who never got anything resembling their full stories told, because they are the ones who made Tolkien's worldbuilding as vivid and deep and enduring as it is. Every fictional world should be like that: the sense that the main narrative is by necessity only a tiny tip of the iceberg.

I'm feeling melancholy, though. Often, writers say that they look at their old stories and are embarrassed by how bad they are. Sometimes, I look at my old stories and think, "I wrote that?" and start to feel that I was once so much more confident and imaginative than I am now, and worry I might never be that good again.

Comments

[persephoneflame.livejournal.com]

I am also working on my ljbtfest fic tonight, and it also features minor characters. Hooray!

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

Awesome! Who are you writing about? Mine is about a gay Ent.

[persephoneflame.livejournal.com]

Mine is about how Doctor Who's Mickey Smith comes to reconcile his image of manliness, and himself, with kissing boys. Mostly it's a self-discovery fic.

And I wrote all 3000 words of it to get to the scene where he tells Jackie Tyler about it. (the hilarity of this only makes sense if you know the canon)

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

Oh, I do it know it well enough to know that's going to be goooooood. Even though I kind of ship Mickey/Jackie a little bit. ;)

[persephoneflame.livejournal.com]

I see support for Jackie/Mickey in canon and my brain still skitters sideways from it. I love Jackie too much as Mickey and Rose's strident mum (Attila the Mum! The Oncoming Slap!) to ship her with Mickey. Though I do love so much that she gets to be a sexual character in the show, as well as being a mother.

But my fic has Mickey, Jackie, Jake, and lots of explosions. I'm feeling pretty good about it right now.

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

I APPROVE OF THIS CONCEPT.

[sarken.livejournal.com]

Oh, man, I'm just like that, too. I look at my old stuff sometimes and wonder, "How will I ever do that again?"

But here's the thing: that new story you're writing? In a couple of months, you're going to look back at it and say, "Wow. How'd I write that?" You're going to do great. :)

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

I just want my boldness back. I guess I have to be bold enough to stand up to my chickenshitness.

[sarahsan]

You're SO not alone in feeling that. My writing from a year ago was passionate and beautiful; if three consecutive words even MAKE it to paper, they're completely dead.

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

This too shall pass. Painfully, like a kidney stone. :(

[celandineb.livejournal.com]

Sometimes, I look at my old stories and think, "I wrote that?" and start to feel that I was once so much more confident and imaginative than I am now, and worry I might never be that good again.

*sighs* Yeah...

[espresso-addict.livejournal.com]

I get both -- I look at my first story & am too embarrassed to read it, but some of the stuff I wrote after I'd got the worst cliches out of my system casts me into despair. I'm a lot more critical now, and I think it does inhibit creativity. I've got so tied up with my lgbtfest story (two rejected ideas already & one teetering on rejection) that I'm thinking of not owning to it as Firerose but posting it as Espresso Addict.

[amberdiceless.livejournal.com]

*Snuggles* These things go in cycles. You've probably just hit a dry patch. When something comes along and fires your imagination, you'll take right off again, you'll see. :)