vulgarweed: (ineffablelove_by_cinnamonblood)
vulgarweed ([personal profile] vulgarweed) wrote2007-01-21 08:24 pm
Entry tags:

I love this meme.

Started by [livejournal.com profile] sazzlette:

1. Take your OTP
2. List your personal canon for those characters. So the stuff that has nothing whatsoever to do with the books, but in your head is irrefutably what would have happened xD


hee. The more I write any particular pairing, the more personal fanon builds up. So here's the one I've written most!



(Some of these points are more irrefutable than others, mind.)

1. Aziraphale feels secretly superior to a number of his colleagues for not getting caught up in that tawdry Nephilim incident. But the reason he didn’t had nothing to do with superior morality and everything to do with (a) not being a particularly sexual being at the time, and (b) being actually gayer than a tree full of monkeys, etc.

2. Crowley, on the other hand, has fathered children, way back in Eden. Those “make trouble” orders were awfully nonspecific. Nobody really noticed, though, because snakes don’t give a damn who their father is (or their mother, for that matter).

3. Both of them are really big ol’ bottoms at heart. This gives their sexual power struggles a bit of a passive-aggressive twist. (But Aziraphale is easier to seduce into topping, being more of a control freak.) Crowley is especially violently allergic to the notion of getting locked into a role, because of millennia worth of furious rants about the idiocy of placing great importance on the “who’s on top” question from his fag-hag pal Lilith, who will never Get Over It.

4. God finds them hilarious and endearing and is really very protective of both of them. But the game would be no fun if they knew this.

5. Aziraphale is indirectly responsible for a lot of the past 400 years of human Western innovations in occultism, because he really did let his friendship/book-geek-rivalry with Dr. John Dee get way out of hand. He worries about this a lot. It’s like the flaming sword giveaway all over again. Crowley found this hilarious—up until the early 20th century, when he met the other infamous A. Crowley, and the two did not get along.

6. Aziraphale has a distaste for the French (except for their wine, cheese, and possibly some sexual practices) that goes back to 1066, when the Arrangement got its first solid, grueling test. He once had a remarkable conversation about this in Old English with that nice Professor Tolkien at Oxford, the only man he met in the 20th century whose pronunciations weren’t appalling.

7. Both of them are confused and vaguely uncomfortable in the presence of Buddhism or Hinduism. It reminds them of how little they really understand. They’re both insanely curious, though. They do the supernatural equivalent of ordering materials that come in plain brown envelopes.

8. Aziraphale is secretly grateful for Crowley’s sluttiness. If he were the only acceptable outlet for Crowley’s libido, he wouldn’t have nearly enough time to read.

9. Crowley, on the other hand, has a jealous streak, but he rather wishes Aziraphale would shag someone else just so the other shoe will drop and he can stop worrying about it. (Besides, he wants to watch.)

10. They both know that wings are erogenous zones, but this ought to be used sparingly.

11. While it is true that Crowley would rather take holy-water enemas than openly acknowledge that Aziraphale is more generously endowed than himself, deep in his heart of hearts he finds this fact hilarious. Besides, he really is way more flexible.

12. Crowley suspects, in the furthest deep dark never-accessed reaches of his mind, that redemption might be possible if he wanted it badly enough. The only way he would ever, ever seriously consider trying is if it were somehow necessary to save Aziraphale.



For a certain value of "irrefutable" of course. I've written things that contradict some of 'em, and very well might again...negative capability, y'know. Important for fandom.

[identity profile] use-theforce-em.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 05:42 am (UTC)(link)
As if I needed more bunnies in the cue... *facepalm*

[identity profile] celandineb.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 05:44 am (UTC)(link)
Maybe tomorrow I'll have the impetus and time to do it... the only trouble is that I don't really have an OTP. I suppose I could just do one of the pairings I write most often. *g*

[identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 05:47 am (UTC)(link)
I think you should write something in yours about Harry and Draco and watersports. :D

[identity profile] celandineb.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 05:53 am (UTC)(link)
*chuckles evilly* Oh yes. That almost goes without saying. The difficulty will be remembering everything that's lurking in the back of my head as my own personal canon on that pair, actually, since the fic I've written on them is by no means all consistent. But there are certain bits that are.

That is a GREAT icon. Heh.

[identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 05:56 am (UTC)(link)
I took my sweet time compiling this list, and I may add more as I think of it. Some things in this list aren't even compatible with things I've written so much...but that's OK. Do I contradict myself? Very well then...

That icon is one of my absolute treasures. It's a snail rimming a monkey, and you definitely do not see that every day. It was made by [livejournal.com profile] semyaza, who has a seemingly bottomless store of really freaky medieval art.

[identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 05:57 am (UTC)(link)
Of course you did, dear. *pats*

[identity profile] celandineb.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 06:03 am (UTC)(link)
Ooh, I will have to go look at those. V. cool. I could use some new history-type icons.

Do I contradict myself? Very well then...

Eh, being perfectly consistent is boring. *starts to ponder personal canon for H/D, because it's not something in my conscious brain most of the time*

[identity profile] blueeyedtigress.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 11:43 am (UTC)(link)
Eep! Link, please? Or title? (No, haven't found it yet, but would certainly like to ...)

[identity profile] erunyauve-e.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 11:46 am (UTC)(link)
Crowley found this hilarious—up until the early 20th century, when he met the other infamous A. Crowley, and the two did not get along.

Well, that clears something up regarding a fandom I know nothing about, considering that the other infamous A. Crowley was the only one I'd ever heard of.

[identity profile] shadowvalkyrie.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 02:38 pm (UTC)(link)
*lol* Goodness, you are /so/ right!

#1: Rather obvious, isn't it?
The fic for #2 was immensely cute and is in my canon, too.
#4: *rofl*
#5: I really don't know the other Crowley, but I think I've read the first part somewhere... *g*
#6: French Invasion fic! Oh please, write that!!! And Aziraphale meeting Tolkien? Too good not to have taken place!
#7: Another great plotbunny! I can see Azi drawing all the curtains close before he guiltily takes the book on Buddhism out from under the sofa... and gets a heart attack when Crowley throws the door open... "Hey angel, what are you reading?" "Ahm, ah... Nothing, dear! Really! Nothing at all!" "Then why are you hiding it behind your back?"
#3,8-11: *loves* -> 8 and 9 could be combined into one fic rather nicely, couldn't they?

Damn, I want to watch Crowley watching now as well... Thanks for another mental image I'll never get rid of again!
And wings... Mmmmmmhhhh, wings....

One thing I can't agree (even with myself) about, is the date the Arrangement proper starts and when they first have sex. It's too much fun to imagine all the many different possibilities!

[identity profile] quantum-witch.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 03:22 pm (UTC)(link)
1. Duh :p
2. Not really inclined toward that idea, personally speaking.
3. Azi - control freak with a faux-blushing behaviour; Crowely -flexy as the snake he used to be, and willing to try anything/anyone once (as long as its interesting). Not so inclined to both being secretly bottoms. I like switchy. Though the passive-aggressive definitely is canon.
4. Absolutely, yes.
5. Well, certainly :P
6. Can't comment, as I've not researched either well enough.
7. Hoho, the ring of truth that rivals Big Ben and Notre Dame.
8. We know this very well ;)
9. *Gulp!* Would have to be some total strange picked up in Soho, a one-nighter only. If it were anyone special to Azi, Crowley's jealous streak would kill someone.
10. If they used the all the time, they'd wear themselves out.
11. *Ahem* I feel somewhat responsible for having started that trend... personal conversation with more than one person on that...
12. Aw, sappy but probable. Can't imagine a situation where he'd have to do it, Azi being quite capable of taking care of himself.
makamu: (favourite Tolkien quote (by brouhaha))

[personal profile] makamu 2007-01-22 03:29 pm (UTC)(link)
I love numbers 5 through seven, because that so happened :) And I cannot wait to see the fic for it, heh

[identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 07:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Gaiman and Pratchett named their character after him as an in-joke/homage...which is only one of the reasons why a meeting between them would be so amusing. :D

[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_silverfox/ 2007-01-22 07:29 pm (UTC)(link)
4 and 12 are so definitely indisputable true!

[identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 07:47 pm (UTC)(link)
That fic for #2 still rots my teeth. Cooing angel! Baby snakes! Now I ded from CUTE. (That idea's really stuck in my head indelibly now. Perhaps because there's that fandom tendency to make people's first times either traumatic or transcendant. Crowley's was neither--just kind of wriggly and scaly. Snake sex is funny.)

#5: I really don't know the other Crowley, but I think I've read the first part somewhere... *g*

Hmm, I wonder where? ;) The other Crowley was a famous, highly influential, and quite colorful and controversial occultist. I think their styles of flamboyance would clash horribly.

#7: Another great plotbunny! I can see Azi drawing all the curtains close before he guiltily takes the book on Buddhism out from under the sofa... and gets a heart attack when Crowley throws the door open... "Hey angel, what are you reading?" "Ahm, ah... Nothing, dear! Really! Nothing at all!" "Then why are you hiding it behind your back?"

Buddhism is for the most part safely analytical, although I think there are things about the Tantric school they might find...distracting.

#3,8-11: *loves* -> 8 and 9 could be combined into one fic rather nicely, couldn't they?
They most certainly could. :D And if Crowley's watching, the big question is...does Aziraphale know?

One thing I can't agree (even with myself) about, is the date the Arrangement proper starts and when they first have sex. It's too much fun to imagine all the many different possibilities!

It starts around 1020, canonically speaking. But I agree there are waaaayyyy too many possibilities, ficishly speaking! That way lies madness...and many possible story arcs going at once. :D

[identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 08:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Hee, in a way I'm kind of relieved we don't see eye to eye on absolutely everything. :D

6. Can't comment, as I've not researched either well enough.

There's a Norman Conquest bunny in here somewhere. :D Maybe at the same time Aziraphale is having his conversation with JRRT in Anglo-Saxon metre and lots of tweed, Crowley is messing with his pal C.S. Lewis--not only having input into The Screwtape Letters but possibly telling him the allegory in Narnia is much, much too subtle and he needs to lay it on thicker if he wants people to get it. :D

*Gulp!* Would have to be some total strange picked up in Soho, a one-nighter only. If it were anyone special to Azi, Crowley's jealous streak would kill someone.
It's a situation full of minefields, that's for sure. But there are brave souls out there. :D

*Ahem* I feel somewhat responsible for having started that trend... personal conversation with more than one person on that...

I do recall....

[identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 08:22 pm (UTC)(link)
It DID so happen. And those stories will be told, I promise. :D

[identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 08:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes. Yes, they are.

[identity profile] shadowvalkyrie.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 08:41 pm (UTC)(link)
*wants to be a snake now*

Clashes make nice fics... *nudges*

Is still think any religion that isn't monotheist and doesn't have a concept of heaven vs hell, angels and demons would be regarded as very dangerous territory by either of them -not to mention by their superiors!

Why don't you just write both varieties? Everything's possible in fandom... (AND it'll make /two/ stories. *gets big shiny eyes*)

1020? *looks through battered GO copy and is confused* Where exactly did you find that???
(Actually I don't care if it's AU, as long as you will write some more Roman porn one day... Or what about Greek porn? No? Egyptian porn? *tries not to think of Crowley in eyeshadow and sparse clothing* *tries not to think of mummies either -stupid cliché* *thinks of Crowley again* *drools all over keyboard*)

[identity profile] quantum-witch.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 10:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, I'm not opposed to lots of things, storywise. But on the whole, those couple of things don't suit me totally. I could always change my mind... but I'll let my personal Muses tell me whether to or not.

*Flail* That story MUST be written. It simply must. Oh, gods the illustrations...

I'd like to see the brave (paid) soul ;)

I blame my dreams.

[identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 10:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Damn - I thought she had it up at GOL but I don't see it. I'll ask her!

[identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 11:37 pm (UTC)(link)
They get especially confused because some branches of Buddhism aren't theistic at all really, and others are pretty much polytheistic, and some do have something sort of like a concept of heaven and hell and some don't, and...and...

Why don't you just write both varieties? Everything's possible in fandom... (AND it'll make /two/ stories. *gets big shiny eyes*)


Now there's a thought...:D

1020? *looks through battered GO copy and is confused* Where exactly did you find that???

p.41, Corgi UK edition. Took me a while.

(Actually I don't care if it's AU, as long as you will write some more Roman porn one day... Or what about Greek porn? No? Egyptian porn? *tries not to think of Crowley in eyeshadow and sparse clothing* *tries not to think of mummies either -stupid cliché* *thinks of Crowley again* *drools all over keyboard*)

NEver you worry. Have pr0n, will time-travel. :D

[identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 11:47 pm (UTC)(link)
PAID? Oh, you are a kinky one! XD

[identity profile] quantum-witch.livejournal.com 2007-01-23 12:05 am (UTC)(link)
And you doubted this? Actually, I'm not sure anyone's ever written this happening with either C or A. Maybe one where C was selling it... but A buying it? :p Heh.

[identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com 2007-01-23 12:25 am (UTC)(link)
Nope, nope, never doubted it. :)
You know, I don't think I've seen that scenario anywhere either...and I think I would remember if I had. Hmmmmm. But I was thinking in this particular case you meant the third party would be the red-light special.

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