vulgarweed: (ineffablelove_by_cinnamonblood)
vulgarweed ([personal profile] vulgarweed) wrote2007-01-21 08:24 pm
Entry tags:

I love this meme.

Started by [livejournal.com profile] sazzlette:

1. Take your OTP
2. List your personal canon for those characters. So the stuff that has nothing whatsoever to do with the books, but in your head is irrefutably what would have happened xD


hee. The more I write any particular pairing, the more personal fanon builds up. So here's the one I've written most!



(Some of these points are more irrefutable than others, mind.)

1. Aziraphale feels secretly superior to a number of his colleagues for not getting caught up in that tawdry Nephilim incident. But the reason he didn’t had nothing to do with superior morality and everything to do with (a) not being a particularly sexual being at the time, and (b) being actually gayer than a tree full of monkeys, etc.

2. Crowley, on the other hand, has fathered children, way back in Eden. Those “make trouble” orders were awfully nonspecific. Nobody really noticed, though, because snakes don’t give a damn who their father is (or their mother, for that matter).

3. Both of them are really big ol’ bottoms at heart. This gives their sexual power struggles a bit of a passive-aggressive twist. (But Aziraphale is easier to seduce into topping, being more of a control freak.) Crowley is especially violently allergic to the notion of getting locked into a role, because of millennia worth of furious rants about the idiocy of placing great importance on the “who’s on top” question from his fag-hag pal Lilith, who will never Get Over It.

4. God finds them hilarious and endearing and is really very protective of both of them. But the game would be no fun if they knew this.

5. Aziraphale is indirectly responsible for a lot of the past 400 years of human Western innovations in occultism, because he really did let his friendship/book-geek-rivalry with Dr. John Dee get way out of hand. He worries about this a lot. It’s like the flaming sword giveaway all over again. Crowley found this hilarious—up until the early 20th century, when he met the other infamous A. Crowley, and the two did not get along.

6. Aziraphale has a distaste for the French (except for their wine, cheese, and possibly some sexual practices) that goes back to 1066, when the Arrangement got its first solid, grueling test. He once had a remarkable conversation about this in Old English with that nice Professor Tolkien at Oxford, the only man he met in the 20th century whose pronunciations weren’t appalling.

7. Both of them are confused and vaguely uncomfortable in the presence of Buddhism or Hinduism. It reminds them of how little they really understand. They’re both insanely curious, though. They do the supernatural equivalent of ordering materials that come in plain brown envelopes.

8. Aziraphale is secretly grateful for Crowley’s sluttiness. If he were the only acceptable outlet for Crowley’s libido, he wouldn’t have nearly enough time to read.

9. Crowley, on the other hand, has a jealous streak, but he rather wishes Aziraphale would shag someone else just so the other shoe will drop and he can stop worrying about it. (Besides, he wants to watch.)

10. They both know that wings are erogenous zones, but this ought to be used sparingly.

11. While it is true that Crowley would rather take holy-water enemas than openly acknowledge that Aziraphale is more generously endowed than himself, deep in his heart of hearts he finds this fact hilarious. Besides, he really is way more flexible.

12. Crowley suspects, in the furthest deep dark never-accessed reaches of his mind, that redemption might be possible if he wanted it badly enough. The only way he would ever, ever seriously consider trying is if it were somehow necessary to save Aziraphale.



For a certain value of "irrefutable" of course. I've written things that contradict some of 'em, and very well might again...negative capability, y'know. Important for fandom.

[identity profile] blueeyedtigress.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 02:44 am (UTC)(link)
Well, that explains it -- a great deal of my personal canon for them has obviously been cribbed from your stories. ;D

[identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 03:03 am (UTC)(link)
Ah, but a number of these are things I don't think I've actually written. :D
sarahsan: (Default)

[personal profile] sarahsan 2007-01-22 03:09 am (UTC)(link)
What a FANTASTIC meme, I've not seen this before!

And LOL and amen to all of them. Your A and C are prettymuch canon to me, too, so all of these ring true. ^_~

Crowley would rather take holy-water enemas than openly acknowledge that Aziraphale is more generously endowed...

*rotfl*

[identity profile] blueeyedtigress.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 03:17 am (UTC)(link)
Telepathy? Time travel? They have a ring of truth to them, so my agreeing with you is the only reasonable course of action?

Heck, beats me. Did we perhaps talk about some of this stuff by e-mail ...?

[identity profile] stultiloquentia.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 03:18 am (UTC)(link)
I've never read GO. I've been a grad student for the past umpteen years and other books keep getting in the way, and whenever I think to look for it in the library it's checked out.

But I love this list. Looooove. It's booted the source material up several dozen places on my urgent reading list.

[identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 03:19 am (UTC)(link)
Hee, and awwww. :D Some of these contain kernels of stories I haven't written yet, of which there are many. I worry sometimes about running out, and yet I seem to get reassured that isn't likely to happen soon...

[identity profile] blueeyedtigress.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 03:21 am (UTC)(link)
Okay, okay, the conversation with the Professor (#6) was just one of those 'way cool logical things that I recognise MUST have happened. And #4 Just Feels Right to me. And our Crowley not getting along with Aleister Crowley sounds really likely ...

[identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 03:23 am (UTC)(link)
It may well be a matter of the Ineffable Hive-Mind in some cases. :D

[identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 03:29 am (UTC)(link)
Now, that's what I like to hear! Another reader for the source! :D

I think that my fanon largely fits somewhat with canon, at least that alternate-reality version with all the sex scenes in it. :D But of course it's also ridden with self-indulgent idiosyncracy, which is the big fun of fandom.

[identity profile] use-theforce-em.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 03:30 am (UTC)(link)
This is awesome. So awesome. And so many of these I totally would have put on the list myself. 3 and 4 = yes, omg YES. (You're making me want to write more God and Lucifer fic, stop it. They've been bickering in my brain enough as it is. XP)

The end of 5 cracks me up because you knows it's true. As is 6 because I've always felt deep in my gut that Aziraphale liked Tolkien quite a bit (the fact that they've met is simply obvious).

8,9 and 10 = inarguable porn truths. Problem is now I want to read Crowley watching. Right now. 11 = same as 8,9 and 10 + me spitting out water all over my computer. 12 is also absolutely true. But now I want to know what would happen to Aziraphale where he would require saving....

[identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 03:31 am (UTC)(link)
I would love to write #6, but I'm not nearly as knowledgeable on any topic as both of them! :D And that last bit of #5 is part of a hairy bunny I've been nursing for years. There's some war business and some poetry allusions and some occult geekiness and maybe even hatesex.

[identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 03:48 am (UTC)(link)
Oooo, so glad you're enjoying this! Yes, please, please write more God and Lucifer fic - you're so great at it. Consider this an Official Temptation. :D

The end of 5 cracks me up because you knows it's true. As is 6 because I've always felt deep in my gut that Aziraphale liked Tolkien quite a bit (the fact that they've met is simply obvious).

The end of number 5 is something I've been very much intending to write one of these days...it's got its place in the bunny queue.

Problem is now I want to read Crowley watching. Right now.
Slurp. Me too.

12 is also absolutely true. But now I want to know what would happen to Aziraphale where he would require saving....
Some situation where he is in danger of Falling? Or worse?

[identity profile] blueeyedtigress.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 04:01 am (UTC)(link)
Working very hard to put the "effing" back in ineffable!

[identity profile] use-theforce-em.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 04:02 am (UTC)(link)
Gosh darnit, then ya get all flattery and now I'll have to do it, and, I , with the - *grumble growl* XD

Yay for the bunny queue! I'm all excited even at the remote possibility of that. And did I read something about hatesex up there? I did, didn't I? ;)

Some situation where he is in danger of Falling? Or worse?

That would be really damn interesting. I mean, I know many people have tried similar ideas, but I can't say I've read any that I've found incredibly effective for various reasons. Hmm.

[identity profile] blueeyedtigress.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 04:08 am (UTC)(link)
Hmmmm ... JRRT & Azi could have had great discussions on language and religion and fable and Story and ale and warfare (and its effects on people) and .... gee, lots of things that don't have to be rendered in genuine Old English.

Now you've got me pondering: Tolkien was in active duty at the Somme, then invalided out with trench fever. I wonder if he met up with either of them then ...?

[identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 04:18 am (UTC)(link)
Score! XD

Yay for the bunny queue! I'm all excited even at the remote possibility of that. And did I read something about hatesex up there? I did, didn't I? ;)

The bunny queue is ginormous, and I've really gotta get typing again! My resting period from GOE is over.

I mean, I know many people have tried similar ideas, but I can't say I've read any that I've found incredibly effective for various reasons. Hmm.

Nor I...and I think it's that it seems there's two basic categories: the ones with happy endings, where the resolution tends to be too neat and pat, and the ones with unhappy ones, which seem to be gratuitously tragic (which goes with the spirit of GO proper like chocolate and ketchup) and theologically oversimplified in the other direction. It's not an easy thing to take on, that's for sure.

[identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 04:19 am (UTC)(link)
You're not going to let me weasel out of this one, are you?

[identity profile] blueeyedtigress.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 04:24 am (UTC)(link)
You tease me with a believable combination of my favourite universe and my favourite author, written by my favourite fanfic writer, and you think for a moment I'd let you weasel out? Hell no. (Pretty please?)

(Even better if you can get Merlin to illustrate ....) ::crosses fingers, toes and eyes::

[identity profile] use-theforce-em.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 04:35 am (UTC)(link)
Sheesh, short break. Not that I'm sorry, since it's only beneficial to the rest of us. :D

Yes to both categories. Although it's the overly sad/melodramatic ones that make my eyes bug out more. Thoughtful without the humor I'm all for, even though it's not canon, but omg-Aziraphale-must-have-been-taken-to-Hell-because-all-his-books-are-on-the-floor-and-there-are-bloody-feathers-and-Hastur-and-Ligur-will-pay-because-nobody-makes-my-pretty-angel-bloody tends to make me feel ill. >.

[identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 04:52 am (UTC)(link)
Heh, and here I feel like I'm slacking this year, because last year I not only wrote two (well, unofficially three) GOE fics, I was working on "The Phoenix and the Turtle" at the time too. (And yeah, this meant I was reading books on Caligula-era Rome and Elizabethan England concurrently. XD)

Thoughtful is one thing, melodramatic is another. I do have a weakness for a good rescue story--provided the emphasis is on action and plot twists, etc., not on wangst. And that is an awfully overused plot device. (And not a very plausible one, usually - if Crowley can outfox Hastur, Aziraphale certainly can.)

[identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 04:58 am (UTC)(link)
I fail at weaseling, I guess. :D

Did you ever read a story that [livejournal.com profile] dreya_uberwald wrote a couple years ago, wherein Olórin and Aziraphale commiserate? I thought it was brilliant!

[identity profile] use-theforce-em.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 05:04 am (UTC)(link)
Caligula+Elizabethan England = best combo ever. Actually, it sounds a lot like my coursework. XD

Oh yeah, I have a weakness for that myself, but the plausibility on that particular plot is indeed miniscule. Especially since Aziraphale has no reason to fear Hastur and Ligur at all. I have a funny feeling that he'd be awfully amused if they came by to threaten him.

[identity profile] celandineb.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 05:22 am (UTC)(link)
OMG, hilarious and perfect and I think I agree with nearly all of them. Especially 3, 4, and 8.

[identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 05:28 am (UTC)(link)
I envy your coursework. :D

Especially since Aziraphale has no reason to fear Hastur and Ligur at all. I have a funny feeling that he'd be awfully amused if they came by to threaten him.

Now, that could make for a funny story...:D

[identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 05:41 am (UTC)(link)
Heee, so glad you liked. :D I hope this meme spreads, I think there's a lot of fun to be had in it.

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