vulgarweed: (ineffablelove_by_cinnamonblood)
vulgarweed ([personal profile] vulgarweed) wrote2007-01-21 08:24 pm
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I love this meme.

Started by [livejournal.com profile] sazzlette:

1. Take your OTP
2. List your personal canon for those characters. So the stuff that has nothing whatsoever to do with the books, but in your head is irrefutably what would have happened xD


hee. The more I write any particular pairing, the more personal fanon builds up. So here's the one I've written most!



(Some of these points are more irrefutable than others, mind.)

1. Aziraphale feels secretly superior to a number of his colleagues for not getting caught up in that tawdry Nephilim incident. But the reason he didn’t had nothing to do with superior morality and everything to do with (a) not being a particularly sexual being at the time, and (b) being actually gayer than a tree full of monkeys, etc.

2. Crowley, on the other hand, has fathered children, way back in Eden. Those “make trouble” orders were awfully nonspecific. Nobody really noticed, though, because snakes don’t give a damn who their father is (or their mother, for that matter).

3. Both of them are really big ol’ bottoms at heart. This gives their sexual power struggles a bit of a passive-aggressive twist. (But Aziraphale is easier to seduce into topping, being more of a control freak.) Crowley is especially violently allergic to the notion of getting locked into a role, because of millennia worth of furious rants about the idiocy of placing great importance on the “who’s on top” question from his fag-hag pal Lilith, who will never Get Over It.

4. God finds them hilarious and endearing and is really very protective of both of them. But the game would be no fun if they knew this.

5. Aziraphale is indirectly responsible for a lot of the past 400 years of human Western innovations in occultism, because he really did let his friendship/book-geek-rivalry with Dr. John Dee get way out of hand. He worries about this a lot. It’s like the flaming sword giveaway all over again. Crowley found this hilarious—up until the early 20th century, when he met the other infamous A. Crowley, and the two did not get along.

6. Aziraphale has a distaste for the French (except for their wine, cheese, and possibly some sexual practices) that goes back to 1066, when the Arrangement got its first solid, grueling test. He once had a remarkable conversation about this in Old English with that nice Professor Tolkien at Oxford, the only man he met in the 20th century whose pronunciations weren’t appalling.

7. Both of them are confused and vaguely uncomfortable in the presence of Buddhism or Hinduism. It reminds them of how little they really understand. They’re both insanely curious, though. They do the supernatural equivalent of ordering materials that come in plain brown envelopes.

8. Aziraphale is secretly grateful for Crowley’s sluttiness. If he were the only acceptable outlet for Crowley’s libido, he wouldn’t have nearly enough time to read.

9. Crowley, on the other hand, has a jealous streak, but he rather wishes Aziraphale would shag someone else just so the other shoe will drop and he can stop worrying about it. (Besides, he wants to watch.)

10. They both know that wings are erogenous zones, but this ought to be used sparingly.

11. While it is true that Crowley would rather take holy-water enemas than openly acknowledge that Aziraphale is more generously endowed than himself, deep in his heart of hearts he finds this fact hilarious. Besides, he really is way more flexible.

12. Crowley suspects, in the furthest deep dark never-accessed reaches of his mind, that redemption might be possible if he wanted it badly enough. The only way he would ever, ever seriously consider trying is if it were somehow necessary to save Aziraphale.



For a certain value of "irrefutable" of course. I've written things that contradict some of 'em, and very well might again...negative capability, y'know. Important for fandom.

[identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 07:47 pm (UTC)(link)
That fic for #2 still rots my teeth. Cooing angel! Baby snakes! Now I ded from CUTE. (That idea's really stuck in my head indelibly now. Perhaps because there's that fandom tendency to make people's first times either traumatic or transcendant. Crowley's was neither--just kind of wriggly and scaly. Snake sex is funny.)

#5: I really don't know the other Crowley, but I think I've read the first part somewhere... *g*

Hmm, I wonder where? ;) The other Crowley was a famous, highly influential, and quite colorful and controversial occultist. I think their styles of flamboyance would clash horribly.

#7: Another great plotbunny! I can see Azi drawing all the curtains close before he guiltily takes the book on Buddhism out from under the sofa... and gets a heart attack when Crowley throws the door open... "Hey angel, what are you reading?" "Ahm, ah... Nothing, dear! Really! Nothing at all!" "Then why are you hiding it behind your back?"

Buddhism is for the most part safely analytical, although I think there are things about the Tantric school they might find...distracting.

#3,8-11: *loves* -> 8 and 9 could be combined into one fic rather nicely, couldn't they?
They most certainly could. :D And if Crowley's watching, the big question is...does Aziraphale know?

One thing I can't agree (even with myself) about, is the date the Arrangement proper starts and when they first have sex. It's too much fun to imagine all the many different possibilities!

It starts around 1020, canonically speaking. But I agree there are waaaayyyy too many possibilities, ficishly speaking! That way lies madness...and many possible story arcs going at once. :D

[identity profile] shadowvalkyrie.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 08:41 pm (UTC)(link)
*wants to be a snake now*

Clashes make nice fics... *nudges*

Is still think any religion that isn't monotheist and doesn't have a concept of heaven vs hell, angels and demons would be regarded as very dangerous territory by either of them -not to mention by their superiors!

Why don't you just write both varieties? Everything's possible in fandom... (AND it'll make /two/ stories. *gets big shiny eyes*)

1020? *looks through battered GO copy and is confused* Where exactly did you find that???
(Actually I don't care if it's AU, as long as you will write some more Roman porn one day... Or what about Greek porn? No? Egyptian porn? *tries not to think of Crowley in eyeshadow and sparse clothing* *tries not to think of mummies either -stupid cliché* *thinks of Crowley again* *drools all over keyboard*)

[identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 11:37 pm (UTC)(link)
They get especially confused because some branches of Buddhism aren't theistic at all really, and others are pretty much polytheistic, and some do have something sort of like a concept of heaven and hell and some don't, and...and...

Why don't you just write both varieties? Everything's possible in fandom... (AND it'll make /two/ stories. *gets big shiny eyes*)


Now there's a thought...:D

1020? *looks through battered GO copy and is confused* Where exactly did you find that???

p.41, Corgi UK edition. Took me a while.

(Actually I don't care if it's AU, as long as you will write some more Roman porn one day... Or what about Greek porn? No? Egyptian porn? *tries not to think of Crowley in eyeshadow and sparse clothing* *tries not to think of mummies either -stupid cliché* *thinks of Crowley again* *drools all over keyboard*)

NEver you worry. Have pr0n, will time-travel. :D

[identity profile] shadowvalkyrie.livejournal.com 2007-01-23 08:54 am (UTC)(link)
Buddhism is complicated, but the good thing is that it's tolerant enough to be combined with parts of other religions. Wuldn't be my thing, though. *isn't calm and peaceful enough*

*found it* Oh right, 1020! Thanks. (Shit, it's canon... *g*) Let's write some more AUs!

You will? Sounds promising!!! *squee*

[identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com 2007-01-24 12:09 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, most Buddhists would think there's no problem with being both Buddhist and Christian...most Christians would disagree.

I'm totally AU-friendly. Fanfic is all about the "what-if" anyway? In this case "what if they've been shagging for 6,000 years" is my favorite what-if. :D