OMG. Oh shiiiiit!

I am NEVER going to work without checking the news again.

Maybe I'm NEVER going to work again.

Half of 'em weren't even there. And the job...well, usually classical music fans are an articulate bunch even when they're telling you to fuck off, but the groaning, oh god the groaning. and sometimes the breaking glass in the background...They would almost give but ate their credit cards instead and I heard this crazy noise where they were trying to get at me through the phone but zombies can't do that, they just ate the wires instead when their receptionists and housekeepers were already devoured.

I didn't notice anything unusual on the bus. (Then again, I wouldn't.) But they were everywhere at Whole Foods, a run on organic free-range BRAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNS at $12.99 a pound, but River the trainee's brains were free and all over the floor being drooled out, and some European lady in serious denial was snarking at me because she couldn't move her cart because of some kid she thought was my daughter, AS IF, until the sweet-little pig-tailed thing with one eyeball hanging out on a sinew bit huge chunks out of her leg, and I was like, fuck it, my bath salts can WAIT.

So here I am. Waiting. Screams. Smell of bloody meat and lighter fluid outside. Burning 'em doesn't work.

OMG. Oh shiiiiit!

I am NEVER going to work without checking the news again.

Maybe I'm NEVER going to work again.

Half of 'em weren't even there. And the job...well, usually classical music fans are an articulate bunch even when they're telling you to fuck off, but the groaning, oh god the groaning. and sometimes the breaking glass in the background...They would almost give but ate their credit cards instead and I heard this crazy noise where they were trying to get at me through the phone but zombies can't do that, they just ate the wires instead when their receptionists and housekeepers were already devoured.

I didn't notice anything unusual on the bus. (Then again, I wouldn't.) But they were everywhere at Whole Foods, a run on organic free-range BRAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNS at $12.99 a pound, but River the trainee's brains were free and all over the floor being drooled out, and some European lady in serious denial was snarking at me because she couldn't move her cart because of some kid she thought was my daughter, AS IF, until the sweet-little pig-tailed thing with one eyeball hanging out on a sinew bit huge chunks out of her leg, and I was like, fuck it, my bath salts can WAIT.

So here I am. Waiting. Screams. Smell of bloody meat and lighter fluid outside. Burning 'em doesn't work.