The Middle Distance

World news is spiraling. Here’s a distracting post about movies. At least it’s something to break up the doomscrolling.

Dog Man: Cute and fun. I kept noting and appreciating the characteristic Dav Pilkey humor. (“Lil’ Petey is actually Petey’s son!…in a coincidence so obvious, it’s not really a coincidence.”) Not actually sure how to describe it, but the guy sure can write a line.

One of the subplots is about an evil psychokinetic cyborg fish, and I love that everyone just…calls him “psychokinetic.” It’s the one word that’s blatantly outside the target audience’s reading level. Nobody asks what it means. Nobody casually mentions the definition. You can figure it out from context, or you can look it up — and what a fun word to look up, you know?

Another subplot involves “evil” cat Petey, trying to raise his child clone Lil’ Petey. The kitten insists on seeing the good in Petey, who’s the classic “soft heart underneath, will team up with the heroes when given a chance” kind of antagonist. But there’s also a subplot where he eagerly tries to reconnect Petey with his deadbeat dad…who turns out not to be on a redemption arc, he just slums around the lair for a bit, then finally runs off with all Petey’s stuff.

Which leads to a scene where Petey tells the kitten “Kid, it’s not you. Some people just won’t change.” A rare message to see in a kids’ movie — characters who are estranged from a relative, especially a parent, almost always learn a lesson about how they were being too harsh and unfair — and a really nice one. Young viewers should get to hear that if you go on a Plucky Child Reconciliation Quest and don’t succeed, it’s not because you weren’t nice/forgiving/plucky/open-hearted enough to deserve it.

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Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death: I heard about this movie when it was featured in This Movie Exists. Can’t top Moviebob’s summary: “a zero-budget spoof of jungle adventure movies that improbably crosses a legitimately insightful satire of late-1980s “battle of the sexes” culture-war politics with campy jungle-girl bikini babe action.”

I’ve seen the serious version of this movie on MST3K any number of times. The parody is amazing. Genuinely laugh-out-loud funny on a regular basis. The climactic battle in the village of the cannibal women is between two ethnographers, wielding swords (“I studied ancient weaponry at Berkeley”) and wearing slinky leaf mini-dresses, trading insults like “Your field methodology is sloppy!”

And most of it has aged shockingly well. If it had come out in 2025, as a period-piece satire of sexism in the 1980s, rather than a contemporary satire of sexism in the 1980s…it could’ve done basically all the same jokes.

(Honestly, the only bit I would change is, there’s an attempted sexual assault that goes down a little too casually. It’s clearly a bad thing, our protagonist stops it by showing up with a gun, it’s just portrayed more as “ugh, another of these sexist annoyances that pop up throughout the movie” than “narrowly-averted serious traumatic violence.”)

As of now, you can stream the Avocado Jungle on Tubi. Worth a watch.