vulgarweed: (handbyarwen_elvenfair)
Prey Tell

Fandom: The Hobbit
Pairing: Bilbo/Landroval
Rating: Explicit/NC-17
Summary: Book/movie verse mishmash. Out of the frying pan and into the fire: rescued from goblins and orcs and Wargs and flames, Thorin’s company now must cope with the hospitality of the Lord of the Eagles and his folk. Bilbo’s Tookish side is not only up to the challenge, but goes above and beyond.

Thank you Teasel/Lydiabennet so much for your generous donations to Natural Resources Defense Council and The Nature Conservancy

This is the first of Eyrie Tales, a collection of three stories centered on the Giant Eagles of Middle-earth.

All praise to my beta readers, Tyellas and Iwantthatcoat.

Written for [ profile] teasel in the Fandom Trumps Hate 2017 Charity Auction.
vulgarweed: (porn!)
Pairing: Irene Adler/Mary Morstan
Rating: E
Tags: BDSM, Dom/sub, Leather Kink, Leather Boots, Boot Worship, Fur Kink, Frottage, Foot Fetish, Riding Crops, Servitude, Chaotic Neutral Women Loving Women, Crime DOES Pay, Service Kink, Suicidal Thoughts, Debt, Attempted Redemption, Kneeling, Crawling, Non-Platonic Sidekick Recruitment, Brief Scene of Auto-Gunplay
Warning: brief scene of suicidal ideation.

Summary: “Of course it’s very wrong, but we can’t all be moralists, and the distribution of wealth is very wrong to begin with.” (AJ Raffles, “The Ides of March,” E.W. Hornung)

“Mary Morstan” is a down-on-her luck assassin who’s been wanting to reform, but she finds herself deep in debt and thereby with even less hope for a retirement plan that isn’t made of lead. In desperation she appeals to a wealthier acquaintance - Irene Adler, The Woman, one of the top pro Dommes in the world. It turns out that Irene has another, even more lucrative source of income that isn’t quite cricket - and that’s where she needs an assistant. But before Mary is initiated into all Irene’s secrets, she first must pledge her loyalty. And it’s Irene’s business to deduce just what Mary really needs.

Venus Infers at AO3

This belongs to an AU I’ve had in my head for a long time, starring Irene and Mary as a kinky lesbian jewel heist team. Apologies are due to Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, the Velvet Underground, and most of all to E. W. Hornung.
vulgarweed: (rain_by_aurora_starwing)
Note this is a different one than the clip I posted to Tumblr earlier. My block on this just broke and I couldn't be happier.

Sérelókë and Iaun reach Menegroth at last - and have a surprisingly illustrious escort.


A great causeway of stone stretched out ahead of them, narrow and high-walled, at a dizzying span above the rushing river. Certhasath hesitated at first, until the Elven maid turned around and smiled at him, calling softly - between their thighs both Sérelókë and Iaun could feel the great horse relax at her urging and begin the crossing, trusting her utterly.

“Why does she allow us to pass so easily?” Iaun asked. “I expected a far greater trial.”

“There has been a trial already, Iaun,” Sérelókë said. “She looked within me and she saw my true form. Any attempt to deceive would have turned her against me, and I am not accustomed to be so clearly seen. Yet it could be no other way - Lúthien is very much her mother’s daughter, and her mother is well aware of our coming.”
vulgarweed: (rain_by_aurora_starwing)
I've been lax on posting the updates of this fic here - so sorry!

At AO3

Archive Warning:
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Fandoms: Sherlock/The Silmarillion
Rating: NC-17/E
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Sherlock/Gothmog
Content notes/warnings/enticements:
Shapeshifting, Kinslaying, More Shapeshifting Elemental Whip Magic, BDSM, Rope Bondage, Dubious Consent, Even More Dubious Tolkienian Theology, Crack, crackfic, Dom Sherlock, Sub Everybody Else, Dark Fuck Prince Running Loose in Middle-earth, Bang a Balrog (Get It On), Interspecies, Crossover, Canon-Typical Violence, Sensation Play, Temperature Play, Violent Sex, Voyeurism, Anal Sex, Painplay, Elemental Magic, Rough Sex, Stone Bondage, Impact Play, Rimming, Dubious Tolkienian Linguistic Discipline, Mild Cock & Ball Torture, Body Worship

Summary: "It's a bonny thing," said he. "Just see how it glints and sparkles. Of course it is a nucleus and focus of crime. Every good stone is. They are the devil's pet baits. In the larger and older jewels every facet may stand for a bloody deed.” - Sherlock Holmes, The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle, Arthur Conan Doyle

Sequel to With Both Hands Thou Shalt Give It. After Melkor murdered Finwë and stole the Silmarils, fleeing to the lands across the sea, Fëanor, the Silmarils’ maker, led an army in hot pursuit to avenge his father and reclaim his treasure, swearing an oath that would doom them all. And the Fëanorians were followed by the eccentric, brilliant, and fearlessly kinky Maia detective called Sérelókë, who can always be trusted to stick his nose (and other parts) into the meat of any fascinating and dangerous crime. In Beleriand, he will find a rich playground for all his passions, and meet a companion who will change his life forever.

Chapter 1:Aftermath Prologue - The Tale of the Journey to the East

In a time and place of safety after the Battle Under the Stars (and the main events of this story) Sérelókë tells the tale of how he came to cross the sea to Beleriand. He will take his sweet time - he has a captive audience.

Chapter 2: Elen Sila Lumenn Omentielvo

A star shines on the hour of their meeting.

Chapter 3: I Am More Sweet Than Other Meat

There's only one way to deal with creatures like the residents of the Valley of Dreadful Death - insult them!

Chapter 4: The Battlefield Under the Stars

Iaun would not choose to be bystander to a great battle - but Fëanor's fall is terrifying. And Iaun's new friend Sérelókë is more terrifying still.

Chapter 5: Where There's a Whip, There's a Way

Sérelókë confronts Gothmog, Lord of Balrogs, before the very gates of Angband. And Iaun discovers something about his new companion - and something about himself as well. (Specifically, a raging voyeurism kink.)

Chapter 6: Study in Flesh and Spirit

Wary and slow to trust he may be, but Iaun finds himself quick and reckless in desire - which is not at all the same thing. (An Elf is not quite so dangerous to seduce as a Balrog, but there is patience and artistry required in doing it properly.)

Chapter 7: Come Through Woe to Bliss

Iaun likes a lot of woe with his bliss, and even Sérelókë finds him quite a handful. Handfuls, even.

(this is the chapter that's just 8100 words of Sérelókë/Iaun BDSM - as only they can do it. Or would want to.)
vulgarweed: (rain_by_aurora_starwing)
“Oh, my dear Iaun Hossion, it is dangerous,” Sérelókë said with delight to his Elven companion, and the green-grey gleam of his eyes was fey in the distant light of the flickering flames. “Very dangerous. Much I know of their kind that is not known in this land. There was a little problem I solved some time ago - two Teleri brothers found pierced to the heart in a foundered ship, with no sign that anyone else had been there at all.”

Iaun felt this was hardly the time to share reminiscence, as the drumbeat of the giant’s steps came closer. Yet Sérelókë also was a flame, and one that held the eye and stayed the hand.

“And it was?”

“A Second Kinslaying, not such a widely-told tale as the first,” Sérelókë said with a grim little smile. “Brother slew brother. They did for each other in an argument over whether Balrogs have wings at all.”

“And do they?”

“That is why it’s so very dangerous here,” Sérelókë said with glee. “They have them, yes - but only during their mating season.”


Oh yes, he's coming back!

(HUGE thanks once again to the Tolkien nonnies at f_fa for naming help, in Sindarin this time. "Sanctuary" + "son of the army.")

In keeping with the crack-fic genre where this series started, I feel I should warn that the working title of this file is "Bang a Balrog (Get It On)" (I always feel it should fit the tune of the T. Rex classic, although it doesn't really.)
vulgarweed: (tree_by_aurora_starwing)
Title: The Straw Man Fallacy
Fandoms: Sherlock/The Wicker Man (1973)
Pairing: Sherlock/John
Other Characters: Lord Summerisle, Miss Rose, Willow MacGregor, Alder MacGregor, Mr. Lennox, The Librarian, other Summerisle villagers and OCs
Rating: NC-17/explicit

“Mr Holmes, I'm not in the habit of approaching . . . consultants. But you are correct. I have great faith in our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. And until recently, I also had faith in the rule of law. Only the second one has wavered. Three years ago my fiancé, Sgt. Neil Howie of the West Highlands Constabulary, went to investigate an anonymous report of a missing child in a remote place called Summerisle. He never communicated with me while he was there, and he never returned.”

Summerisle is not a welcoming place to visitors, but it shows its best face at May Day. For ulterior motives.

Chapter 6, Sumer is Icumen In

Summerislanders will be talking about this one for decades.

Sumer Is Icumen In )

Entire Story on AO3

Chapter 1 on LJ
Chapter 2 on LJ
Chapter 3 on LJ
Chapter 4 on LJ
Chapter 5 on LJ
vulgarweed: (tree_by_aurora_starwing)
StrawManFallacyFrontWB (1)

The Straw Man Fallacy Fanmix!

COVER ART BY [ profile] winter_hermit/bamfinacuddlyjumper

The Skye Boat Song Bagpipes ~ The Highland Widow's Lament ~ Lorna Campbell ~ Corn Rigs - Us and Them ~ Oak and Ash and Thorn - Louisa John-Krol ~ Maypole Song - Paul Giovanni ~ Nottamun Town - Bert Jansch ~ Witches' Song - Marianne Faithfull ~ Gently Johnny - Sun City Girls ~ The Isle of Summer - Agalloch ~ Fireleap (Reprise) - Paul Giovanni ~ Lord Summerisle - Blood Ceremony ~ How Do (Willow's Song) - Sneaker Pimps ~ Stranger to Himself - Fairport Convention ~ Hobby Horse & Tarring - Paul Giovanni ~ John Barleycorn - Pentangle ~ Lick the Maypole - The Mediaeval Baebes ~ Masks - Paul Giovanni ~ The Widdershins Jig - Skyclad ~ Procession - Paul Giovanni ~ Chop Chop - Paul Giovanni ~ The Wicker Man - Iron Maiden ~ Approach - Paul Giovanni ~ The Anointing - Paul Giovanni ~ Hum - Paul Giovanni ~ You Will Burn - Steeleye Span ~ Beekeeper ~ Witch Mountain ~ The Bees Made Honey in the Lion's Skull - Earth ~ Sumer Is Icumen In - Richard Thompson ~ Cup of Wonder - Jethro Tull ~ Over the Hills and Far Away - Led Zeppelin ~ Green Man - XTC ~ Oak, Ash, and Thorn - Peter Bellamy ~ The Mummers' Dance - Loreena McKennitt

I modeled this mix on the original Wicker Man sound track - that movie is pretty much a musical, there are so many songs. Whenever available, I chose other versions of songs from the movie, and there is a mix of other interpretations of traditional songs and cover versions and songs inspired by the film. (Both the Sun City Girls and Sneaker Pimps are actually covering songs unique to the movie, for example.) Also, every track attributed to Paul Giovanni is from the original film.

Enjoy. It's (mostly) folk, folk-rock, and metal, and every song is here for a reason.

(please tell me ASAP if there's a problem with the file - I'm still new at this!)
vulgarweed: (tree_by_aurora_starwing)
I suppose it's hardly necessary to mention that this story is going to be riddled with Pagan symbolism, but it is, so keep that in mind.

[Poll #1966508]

September 2017

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