I think I'm still breathing jet fuel fumes
May. 2nd, 2006 11:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vulgarweedI'm working on a lot of things at the moment.
This wasn't supposed to be one of them. But it made me laugh so I wrote it down.
Just a little crack-flavoured alternate take on the "Phoenix & Turtle"-verse; sometime in the 18th century, two woman-shaped beings of angelic stock are having a most productive round of gossip.
Girl Talk
Rating: PG for discussion of other beings' sex lives
Warnings: Use of the word "fagalicious."
Summary: In which the Angel of Inscrutability is briefly scrutable. Annael doesn't fall for it.
Face powdered and beauty mark perfectly placed, Annael (woman-shaped at the moment) extended one delicate hand for the manicurist to practise his art.
The human walked away to retrieve his kit, pausing only to attempt to shoo away a particularly scraggly beggar girl who scratched at the diamond-paned window. Annael Saw, though, and that was enough for her to stop time to have a word.
The beggar girl shimmered in her ratty cloak, copper-gold light spilling out of the lice-ridden folds. The honey of heaven and the hisses of hell were in her mouth, bad teeth and all. It was a cheap disguise, but effective. Underneath it, she was angel-shaped at the moment.
“You’re not supposed to be here!” whispered Annael.
“According to Whom?”
“You have a lot of explaining to do, Madimiel.”
“But you know I never explain.”
Annael rolled her eyes. “You and your ‘mysterious’ act. It’s overblown and melodramatic, you know. And it draws attention. Why don’t you just write I AM A DOUBLE AGENT on your forehead and be done with it? Just because the Plan is Ineffable doesn’t mean you have to try to perform it upon the stage.”
Madimiel laughed. “But the humans really like it.”
“That’s something you’d better explain. You almost drove that poor wretch mad, you know. And really…wife-swapping?”
“Oh, that,” Madimiel said dismissively. “As if they hated it. It was only a test of faith, and that sacrifice-your-own-son sort of thing has been done to death. So to speak. So patriarchal, all that seed and sword symbolism. Killing isn’t the only thing frightening and awe-inspiring after all.”
“Well, it was certainly unorthodox. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were explaining something.”
“That pearl pink polish is not you, you know. I would use the coral. I am a double agent, after all. It’s a dirty job but someone has to do it. I deserve my little perks here and there.”
“Perks?”
“Well,” Madimiel looked around shiftily. “To tell you the truth, what I really hoped for was a glimpse of them, er, proving faith with each other. I know Kelley at least would have enjoyed that too…”
Annael clapped her hand to her forehead. “Oh, you just explained something else! Now some of your proclivities are better known to me. But they won’t call it ‘slash’ for a few centuries yet.”
Madimiel went on as if she hadn’t heard. “But alas, Dr. Dee was so stubbornly heterosexual.”
“You should have figured that out when he never rose to Aziraphale’s bait.”
“Oh, but he did. I have never seen such mutual ecstasies of book-lust, such shared passion predicated upon the parchment page. The explosions of coloured inks of desire in their eyes! Their striving and competing, the all-consuming admiration of each other’s…collections…”
“Well, that wasn’t quite what I meant, but I do see your…”
“It takes all sorts of forms, you know. Anyway, bait? Really?”
“Not literally. It’s just that…well, you know what everyone thinks when they first meet Aziraphale.”
“And it’s true, isn’t it? But the alarming thing is that he is not even the most fagalicious among our ranks.”
“No,” smirked Madimiel. “That was Gadriel before he Fell. Who is still among my ranks in a way, if not yours.”
Annael shrieked with laughter. “Oh yes, that one. Imagine – a Serpent with limp wrists.”
“It’s so sweet that they found each other.”
“They’re both hard to miss.”
“It’s going to make trouble, isn’t it?” Annael sighed.
“Of course. You know Himself has been getting bored easily these days.”
Annael sighed again, louder. Casual blasphemy had always been Madimiel’s forte. “Which Himself?”
“Both of them, actually. But I really meant, you know, the Game Master. Who is a bit of a soppy romantic at heart—and likes challenges and surprises, which are not easy to come by when you’re omniscient and omnipotent.” She giggled gnomishly.
“For someone without Free Will, you do shoot your mouth off freely.” Annael winked, as she always did whenever a pious reference was made to lack of Free Will. Hardly anybody bought that one anymore.
“Contributes to my sense of mystery, I suppose,” Madimiel shrugged. “Tell me, do you think I ought to get my nails done as well?”
“Definitely so, and lose the boils. Then we can go have a drink in a decent establishment like proper ladies of the world.”
“Oh, I like that idea. And a pinch of snuff would not go amiss.”
~~
OK, back to writing...something else.
This wasn't supposed to be one of them. But it made me laugh so I wrote it down.
Just a little crack-flavoured alternate take on the "Phoenix & Turtle"-verse; sometime in the 18th century, two woman-shaped beings of angelic stock are having a most productive round of gossip.
Girl Talk
Rating: PG for discussion of other beings' sex lives
Warnings: Use of the word "fagalicious."
Summary: In which the Angel of Inscrutability is briefly scrutable. Annael doesn't fall for it.
Face powdered and beauty mark perfectly placed, Annael (woman-shaped at the moment) extended one delicate hand for the manicurist to practise his art.
The human walked away to retrieve his kit, pausing only to attempt to shoo away a particularly scraggly beggar girl who scratched at the diamond-paned window. Annael Saw, though, and that was enough for her to stop time to have a word.
The beggar girl shimmered in her ratty cloak, copper-gold light spilling out of the lice-ridden folds. The honey of heaven and the hisses of hell were in her mouth, bad teeth and all. It was a cheap disguise, but effective. Underneath it, she was angel-shaped at the moment.
“You’re not supposed to be here!” whispered Annael.
“According to Whom?”
“You have a lot of explaining to do, Madimiel.”
“But you know I never explain.”
Annael rolled her eyes. “You and your ‘mysterious’ act. It’s overblown and melodramatic, you know. And it draws attention. Why don’t you just write I AM A DOUBLE AGENT on your forehead and be done with it? Just because the Plan is Ineffable doesn’t mean you have to try to perform it upon the stage.”
Madimiel laughed. “But the humans really like it.”
“That’s something you’d better explain. You almost drove that poor wretch mad, you know. And really…wife-swapping?”
“Oh, that,” Madimiel said dismissively. “As if they hated it. It was only a test of faith, and that sacrifice-your-own-son sort of thing has been done to death. So to speak. So patriarchal, all that seed and sword symbolism. Killing isn’t the only thing frightening and awe-inspiring after all.”
“Well, it was certainly unorthodox. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were explaining something.”
“That pearl pink polish is not you, you know. I would use the coral. I am a double agent, after all. It’s a dirty job but someone has to do it. I deserve my little perks here and there.”
“Perks?”
“Well,” Madimiel looked around shiftily. “To tell you the truth, what I really hoped for was a glimpse of them, er, proving faith with each other. I know Kelley at least would have enjoyed that too…”
Annael clapped her hand to her forehead. “Oh, you just explained something else! Now some of your proclivities are better known to me. But they won’t call it ‘slash’ for a few centuries yet.”
Madimiel went on as if she hadn’t heard. “But alas, Dr. Dee was so stubbornly heterosexual.”
“You should have figured that out when he never rose to Aziraphale’s bait.”
“Oh, but he did. I have never seen such mutual ecstasies of book-lust, such shared passion predicated upon the parchment page. The explosions of coloured inks of desire in their eyes! Their striving and competing, the all-consuming admiration of each other’s…collections…”
“Well, that wasn’t quite what I meant, but I do see your…”
“It takes all sorts of forms, you know. Anyway, bait? Really?”
“Not literally. It’s just that…well, you know what everyone thinks when they first meet Aziraphale.”
“And it’s true, isn’t it? But the alarming thing is that he is not even the most fagalicious among our ranks.”
“No,” smirked Madimiel. “That was Gadriel before he Fell. Who is still among my ranks in a way, if not yours.”
Annael shrieked with laughter. “Oh yes, that one. Imagine – a Serpent with limp wrists.”
“It’s so sweet that they found each other.”
“They’re both hard to miss.”
“It’s going to make trouble, isn’t it?” Annael sighed.
“Of course. You know Himself has been getting bored easily these days.”
Annael sighed again, louder. Casual blasphemy had always been Madimiel’s forte. “Which Himself?”
“Both of them, actually. But I really meant, you know, the Game Master. Who is a bit of a soppy romantic at heart—and likes challenges and surprises, which are not easy to come by when you’re omniscient and omnipotent.” She giggled gnomishly.
“For someone without Free Will, you do shoot your mouth off freely.” Annael winked, as she always did whenever a pious reference was made to lack of Free Will. Hardly anybody bought that one anymore.
“Contributes to my sense of mystery, I suppose,” Madimiel shrugged. “Tell me, do you think I ought to get my nails done as well?”
“Definitely so, and lose the boils. Then we can go have a drink in a decent establishment like proper ladies of the world.”
“Oh, I like that idea. And a pinch of snuff would not go amiss.”
~~
OK, back to writing...something else.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-05-02 06:32 pm (UTC)Oh dear GODS! Hehehe!
Fagalicious, indeed. And Crowley probably thinks he comes off as total-hetero to the world ;p
no subject
Date: 2006-05-02 08:28 pm (UTC)And the expression on his face in your icon adds a certain dimension to it. :D
no subject
Date: 2006-05-03 01:37 am (UTC)So which is technically the angel here? Annael?
Gadriel was Crowley's name??? I keep hearing 'Galadriel' and grinning.
Loved this, thankies!
no subject
Date: 2006-05-03 03:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-04 05:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-04 08:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-03 03:00 pm (UTC)What standard Christian mythology conspicuously lacks is a proper Trickster figure. (Folklore has tried to fill this gap). And oh man, does it need one!
Annael is a proper angel, and a reasonably high-ranking one at that....but a bit of a subversive. (She was glimpsed briefly in "Breathless Mouths May Summon" too). Madimi is...well, s/he is called "Madimiel" in H.C. Agrippa's listings, but I think it's significant that she introduced herself to Dee and Kelley without the suffix.
QW explained where Crowley's name came from...I used a varient on this in a piece once, and you're not the only one who kept thinking "Galadriel." I came to the conclusion that imagining Crowley in sparkly Elven gowns is easier than imagining him with blond hair.
no subject
Date: 2006-05-04 05:04 am (UTC)Galadriel/Gadriel... if you ever wanna do that Creation of Arda rework you could have a lot of fun with that.
Tip figures *every* mythology needs a trickster!
no subject
Date: 2006-05-04 08:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-04 05:50 pm (UTC)I think we may have some of the same angelological tomes. (My GO file on the home computer is labelled "Izraphael & Gadre'el", just to be mildly perverse.) ;-]
no subject
Date: 2006-05-04 08:48 pm (UTC)Awwww ^_^ I'm touched, but I won't say where. It was a "good touch" though.
no subject
Date: 2006-05-05 01:17 am (UTC)demon-fucking,and weirdest of all, his fashion sense. But she believes in celebrating diversity.no subject
Date: 2006-05-05 06:12 pm (UTC)I like your Annael, BTW. I hope we'll see more of her ...?
no subject
Date: 2006-05-05 06:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-05 09:58 pm (UTC)Actually, I'm still wondering how to take Madimi(el) at all -- I've checked into him (er, well) in my angelology texts, and although nothing I've found hints at where you've taken her (of course, double agents are rarely effective once well-known). I'm still uncomfortable with him/her, quite frankly, as I personally conflate Adam with Jesus (thus making it all a true practical joke on God's part), so my internal jury is still out on your (hinted) connection between Madimi and Adam. Although it's a fascinating idea, and as I said, I'll still be eagerly along for the ride, no matter where you take them. ;-]
Oh, look, I'd forgotten about that -- "Annael ... is one of the luminaries concerned with human sexuality". No wonder she chuckled as she supressed those reports about Aziraphale and his demon!
no subject
Date: 2006-05-06 12:58 am (UTC)Actually, I'm still wondering how to take Madimi(el) at all -- I've checked into him (er, well) in my angelology texts, and although nothing I've found hints at where you've taken her (of course, double agents are rarely effective once well-known).
What I found compelling about her the way she comes through in True and Faithfull Relation... and John Dee's Five Books of Magic is how ambiguous she is. Demanding and capricious and much with the WTF? She doesn't actually come across as either angelic or demonic, really. Not as simple as either.
The hint of the connection between Madimi and Adam rests on the liminal quality they both have, and on Madimi's little revelation about "the illegitimate will be joined with the true son." I think that many of these spirits are not fixed in their forms, and she may will be a partial avatar of both of them. (After all, a little mischievous female energy in our scattered bits of Christ-consciousness won't go amiss, right?)
Oh, look, I'd forgotten about that -- "Annael ... is one of the luminaries concerned with human sexuality". No wonder she chuckled as she supressed those reports about Aziraphale and his demon!
Precisely! Nothing human is alien to her...even when it shows up in an angel. :D
no subject
Date: 2006-05-06 01:50 am (UTC)For me, the Lady and the Trickster show up even during choral evensong (sometimes surprising the priests) -- so, yes, I can see the value of the mischievous and the female in the Christian milieu. (Reminds me: the choir I'm in has been getting a dreadful amount of mileage out of one anthem all season -- "Ave Verum", the version by, yep, Elgar. Lovely ornate dignified worshipful harmonies. But not for all Eternity, please ...)
no subject
Date: 2006-05-05 10:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-06 12:58 am (UTC)