Two Minute Hate.

Attention: Summer.


GET. THE. FUCK. OUT.

90F tomorrow? NOT acceptable.


Look, I know we've never gotten along. I've tolerated having my birthday stuck in the middle of you my whole life and I think I have generally been polite about it. But frankly, you've become especially loathesome lately: hot, muggy, rainless, and relentlessly too fucking bright. All that harsh yellow sunlight for weeks on end uninterrupted? NOT pretty. It's tacky, monotonous, dreary, and about as pleasant as a the visual equivalent of a car alarm that won't stop.

I can understand how you might be a little bit confused, because the Cubs are still playing (and still losing) but it is NOT July. It is October. You wore out your welcome in August. GO. AWAY.

No love,
Me.

PS: Weather gods - if you want to make it up to me, let's have lots of deep fluffy snow this year. I've been feeling pretty ripped off the last couple.

Two Minute Hate.

Attention: Summer.


GET. THE. FUCK. OUT.

90F tomorrow? NOT acceptable.


Look, I know we've never gotten along. I've tolerated having my birthday stuck in the middle of you my whole life and I think I have generally been polite about it. But frankly, you've become especially loathesome lately: hot, muggy, rainless, and relentlessly too fucking bright. All that harsh yellow sunlight for weeks on end uninterrupted? NOT pretty. It's tacky, monotonous, dreary, and about as pleasant as a the visual equivalent of a car alarm that won't stop.

I can understand how you might be a little bit confused, because the Cubs are still playing (and still losing) but it is NOT July. It is October. You wore out your welcome in August. GO. AWAY.

No love,
Me.

PS: Weather gods - if you want to make it up to me, let's have lots of deep fluffy snow this year. I've been feeling pretty ripped off the last couple.

PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES: NOT A CLOWN CAR.

So James Dobson's Focus on the Family wants to field a third-party candidate if the Republican nominee isn't Taliban enough.

Call the waaaaaaahmbulance, guys, it's time for a little post-Nader schadenfreude from the left.

Now, I know the mainstream media is fixated on a Subway Series between our front-running New Yorkers, but it could be SO MUCH FUNNIER.


See, Dobson, I think I know just the man for your job!


REMATCH!


(Really, it makes sense. Keyes's percentage of the vote against Obama in the '04 IL Senate race: 28%. Bush's current approval rating: 29% and sinking. Coincidence? Maybe not!)

PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES: NOT A CLOWN CAR.

So James Dobson's Focus on the Family wants to field a third-party candidate if the Republican nominee isn't Taliban enough.

Call the waaaaaaahmbulance, guys, it's time for a little post-Nader schadenfreude from the left.

Now, I know the mainstream media is fixated on a Subway Series between our front-running New Yorkers, but it could be SO MUCH FUNNIER.


See, Dobson, I think I know just the man for your job!


REMATCH!


(Really, it makes sense. Keyes's percentage of the vote against Obama in the '04 IL Senate race: 28%. Bush's current approval rating: 29% and sinking. Coincidence? Maybe not!)