Hobbit recs!

[vulgarweed]

Okay, I'm back from Mysticon and back from a little drowning in make-up work when I got back, so here's something I've been working on for a little while: some Hobbit recs!

All of these are adult-rated and explicit, mostly Bilbo/Thorin. Some have a side of Kili/Fili, and one is Bilbo/Almost Everybody. One day soon I will rec some fics I like that aren't smutty at all. Today is not that day.


Every Good Dwarf Does Fine by htebazytook
Bilbo/Thorin, NC-17
6,289 words

I'm not even going to pretend to be objective about Bazy's fic, since she's my partner in crime on that whole Erotic Adventures of Hillbilly Sherlock Holmes business – but then, I wouldn't have wanted to write with her in the first place if I didn't already love her work to bits, so you can trust my judgment anyway. She uses music in fic like no one else, and this hilarious story has Thorin the awful lyricist being the brunt of jokes amid the endlessly musical Dwarves. So leave it to Bilbo, the rather talented wordsmith, to be his, er, beta-listener. Which eventually leads to making beautiful music together if you know what I mean, and I think you do. The story takes its own sweet time getting there, though, and there's a lot of delicious wordplay and mutual love of language and legend. Bonus points for a rare appearance of top!Bilbo.


In the Halls of the Elven King by htebazytook
Bilbo/Thorin
NC-17
word count: 4236

This one is set in Thranduil's hall, during the time of the captivity of the Dwarves and Bilbo's invisible thieving; it's also a movieverse/book canon hybrid, and features further hilarious and very Tolkienesque use of poetry and song, and a ridiculously hot through-the-prison-bars sex scene. Especially wonderful is the characterization of Tauriel, about whom we know virtually nothing. If PJ & crew write their own OC half as well as Bazy did, I won't resent her insertion into the story one little bit. (Especially if her relationship with callow prince Legolas is exactly like this.)

Nightmares by Avelera
Bilbo/Thorin, R
WIP. Word count so far: 25,776
Warning: Dark

I'm not impartial on this either – I did some brainstorming with her on Tumblr at the very beginning of her idea, and I'm credited as beta, although I'm doing that after the fact and am woefully behind. It's a horror story at heart, and it's a “fix-it” AU that's going to be darker and sadder than the original. (I know where it's going and it might make you wrap up your whole jewelry box in lead chains and throw it into the sea.) Which makes the first few chapters, with its comedy of manners and sweet eroticism and fairly lighthearted sense of longing, all the more wrenching. See if you don't get hooked in right away with her awesome characterization of Smaug in the prologue – I dare you.


A Substitute for Pudding by airandangels
Bilbo/Half of the Dwarves, in Various Combinations, with special emphasis on Bilbo/Thorin and Bilbo/Bofur
SO VERY NC-17
WIP. Word count so far: 55,169

This is the filthiest Hobbit story I've come across yet, no fucking contest. (Partly because there is a fucking contest.) Hobbits are known for their prodigious appetites—oh, my sweet summer child, did you think that only referred to food? Once this becomes known to the company, certain members (heh!) are desperate to make sure they get their fair share with their relentlessly horny little burglar. No slut-shaming here: Bilbo quickly becomes their greatest treasure – and he seems a bit boggled that his insatiable hunger for cock seems to be considered so unusual, and would everyone stop being so damn careful with him? For all that it's a shameless smutfest, the characterizations, the sweet moments and the bittersweet ones, the comedy of manners aspects and the stern weirdness of Dwarven politics, are so very well developed. And, dear to my heart, it's set within a very Tolkienesque frame of far-future historians and literary scholars trying to determine just how much of this salacious tale was written by Baggins himself, was it all a forgery, and even if authentic, how much of it can possibly be believed...? (Warning: you'll never be able to hear the "Blunt the Knives" song innocently again)


***

More to come, these are just a few I thought especially noteworthy. Recs of your own very welcome - and where do you go to find good icons these days? I could use a few.

Comments

[tehta.livejournal.com]

Thank you for that first rec. I was just thinking about bad poetry yesterday -- deliberately awful, so-bad-it's-good poetry -- and trying to find some as an antidote to, well, some unintentionally bad stuff I had read. That fic totally met my requirements.

[htebazytook.livejournal.com]

Waaaaahhhh thank you! YOU need to write some more, though, pleeeaaaase? :D

I'm trying so hard to avoid writing angst for this pairing, but gaaah it's creeping up on me . . .

I'm going to have to read that Nightmares one. I'm already so obsessed with A Substitute for Pudding that is becoming a bit headcanony for me. It definitely made me like "Blunt the Knives" a lot better, ngl. [This is the filthiest Hobbit story I've come across yet, no fucking contest. (Partly because there is a fucking contest.) LOOOOL]

There really is nowhere to find good icons. Especially Bilbo/Thorin ones, probably because there is only like one scene you can get some nice icons out of

[irisbleufic.livejournal.com]

OMG, thank you for these recs.

*dives into them*