I'M SO FRACKIN' BUSY LULZ

[vulgarweed]

That my brain is cracking. And rebelling. Little bits of unproductivity keep sneaking out through the work, yay.

This was written for the go100 "Help" challenge. I'll post it there as soon as I can figure out how to do the spoiler warnings right.

See, one of my all-time favorite movies has a remake imminent that I am not looking forward to...

The Consultant
Words: 100
Rating: PG for suggestion of pretty icky violence
Characters: Crowley and Aziraphale
Summary: It's a crossover. And no, it didn't have to happen this way...



The last screams—human and animal—faded as the sun set and the giant sacrificial pyre bowed its head as if in prayer.

Aziraphale was wincing and Crowley looked a bit green, but it had little effect on their appetites.

“I had nothing to do with it!” the demon said pre-emptively. “Honestly, he brought it on himself.”

“Martyrdom’s out of vogue, but it seemed to suit him,” Aziraphale shrugged, chewing on a white core. “Really, dear--nothing to do with it?”

Crowley attempted to look sheepish and wound up more goatish. “Purely botanical intervention. Summerisle apples, best in the world.”



In other news, that Spike Lee documentary on Katrina that's starting tonight on HBO looks like it's going to be really excellent and really hard to watch. Will have to get someone to tape the rest of it for me tomorrow.

Comments

[ellimayhem.livejournal.com]

You are gonna LOVE this one:

http://houseoffame.blogspot.com/2006/08/serpentes-on-shippe-spoylerez.html

Geoffrey L. Motheruckin' Chaucer and Serpentes on a Shippe!

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH that's the best thing ever....I need to add that RSS feed.

[slythwolf.livejournal.com]

Crowley attempted to look sheepish and wound up more goatish.

LOVE!

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

Hee. XD Thank you! (Goats have such weird eyes)

[sacred-kao.livejournal.com]

That my brain is cracking. And rebelling. Little bits of unproductivity keep sneaking out through the work, yay.

sounds like i'm contagious... and does the drabble refer to "wicker man" starring the utterly loathsome cage?

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

Mine's just the underslept-overcaffeinated-overdeadlined kind.

HA, you got it. Though I don't care enough about Cage one way or the other to have such strong feelings as "utterly loathsome" - he's kind of a blank space to me. It's just that Neil LaBute's such a wanker. And, honestly, when I first heard it was being done, all I could think about was how I just really couldn't imagine anyone besides the young(ish) Christopher Lee as Lord Summerisle. But looking at the IMDB, that characters--along with most of the other interesting ones--seems to have been written out of this version, which is probably just as well.

Just gives me another excuse to watch the original and get those blasted songs stuck in my head again. :)

hey ho

[divinetailor.livejournal.com]

"Sergeant..."

Re: hey ho

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

"am I not young and fair..."

Heh, Faith & the Muse covered that!

I've gotta say, my headstickiest ones are the opening song, the Maypole Song, and "Gently Johnny."

Re: hey ho

[divinetailor.livejournal.com]

Faith and the Muse? what about Sneaker Pimps?

for me, it's that one, the opening song, and "The Laaaaand-Lord's Daughterrrrrrrrrrrrr!"
:)

the melody for Maypole Song is sticky, but the words are often so fast that i can't fully earworm them. could this film be the world's only dark-suspense musical? (strange to say that; even with the whole human sacrifice thing, the film is so...sunny. maybe its liminality is one reason why we love it. that and Chris Lee's ridiculous sideburns).

Re: hey ho

[blueeyedtigress.livejournal.com]

...... okay. Y'know, from that descriptive discussion, I might just eventually find myself watching the thing. The original, of course.

I like sunny musicals. It's the human (and animal) sacrfice I can't deal with. ...... Oh, Ghu. And Vulgarweed's diabolical powers of persuasion begin to talk me past yet another squick.

Damn, woman, you're good.

Re: hey ho

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

Well, now you know the big spoiler of the ending. It's actually really hard to feel too sorry for the victim, I found.

There are Pagans who hate this movie because of its portrayal of Pagans, and there are those who love it madly because it's such great witch kitsch. You can guess where I'm at. :)

Re: hey ho

[blueeyedtigress.livejournal.com]

Hey, the big nasty flaming wicker man was the only thing I ever saw in the ads at the time! They were really playing it up as -- I don't know?, horror? Scary? For instance, I had no idea until this thread that it was a musical. 8/

And I don't really mind so much if there's human sacrifice, as long as there is no overt, tortuous gore, and there are no cats hurt. I'm very selective in my squicks. :P

caveat!

[divinetailor.livejournal.com]

well now, i don't know that you should take our word for it. Vweed and i go way, way back, and have shared...well, let's be G-rated and say "a brain"...on many occasions and in many contexts. i don't think you should base your decision on what we say here. what's "sunny" to us is often highly disturbing and intolerable to others. i don't want to be involved in pushing you past your own safety and boundaries. so, y'know, caveat viewer or whatever.

that said, it's very nearly as campy as Rocky Horror. but earnestly, you know? it's not satirical--except perhaps of people with excessively rigid worldviews, and you can count both protagonist and antagonist within that category.

Re: caveat!

[blueeyedtigress.livejournal.com]

Not to worry -- V has been corrupting me introducing me to new ideas through e-mail and fic for ... okay, only a few months, but it feels longer. She's had some fair success (so far) at stretching my comfort zone.

OTOH, I really only liked the first half of Rocky Horror. After about the point where Eddy dies, it gets uncomfortably weird. Mind you, I haven't seen it in several years -- perhaps V has had an effefct on my perceptions? I should possibly experiment. ;]

Re: hey ho

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

could this film be the world's only dark-suspense musical?

Yes! And don't forget the Nekkid Pagan Chicks.

and Chris Lee's ridiculous sideburns

So, SO 70s. And yet he manages to be ridiculously hot in it anyway.

[blueeyedtigress.livejournal.com]

Oh, ick. (I avoided Wicker Man like the plague when it was new, and I certainly plan to avoid any remake with modern SFX. I like sleeping peacefully ....)

Very well done drabble, though! I can just imagine them, taking up the miraculously-empty best seats in the theatre, munching on a miraculously-produced bag of genuine summerisle apples throughout the movie.

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

Hee, it's one of my all-time favorites. Long ago lost track of how many times I've seen it. Thing is, it really needs hardly any SFX at all--it's 98% suspense, and no gore to speak of. Doesn't need it.

Heh, that's a funny image!

[anna-wing.livejournal.com]

A re-make of "The Wicker Man"?!!! What an utterly unnecessary idea.

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

Exactly what I thought. I fart in its general direction.

[dreya-uberwald.livejournal.com]

Snerk. Love the drabble. Will never be able to watch that film again without a giving a small snicker at the thought of the Summerisle produce all being the result of Crowley's horticultural pride.

Definitely agree with you and anna_wing about remaking the film being an excersise in pointlessness. It's just not the kind of movie that would particularly benefit from added special effects.

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

Ha! So glad you liked it. Amazing, all the trouble that starts with apples.

It's definitely not a movie that benefits from addition of Nicolas Cage or subtraction of campy songs, either. :D