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vulgarweedFandoms: Sherlock (TV) / The Silmarillion and Other Histories of Middle-earth, J.R.R. Tolkien - works
Rating: Explicit
Pairing Type: Het
Word count: 6,757
Pairing: Sherlock/Ungoliant
Other Characters appearing: Yavanna, Manwë, Tulkas, Thorondor
Challenge/Collection: Category 5 Sex Hurricane Fest
Tags: Casefic, Murder Mystery, Interrogation, Bestiality, BDSM, Interspecies, Crossover, Giant Spider Sex, Yes I Went There, Bondage, Whipping, Xenosex, Shapeshifting, Top Sherlock, Sex Between Semi-Consenting Spiders, Oral Sex, You'd Call it Vaginal Sex If She Had a Vagina Which Technically She Doesn't, Spot the Pratchett Quote, Dub-con By Deception, Did I Mention Bestiality, Also Toplock If I Didn’t Mention That, Dom Sherlock, You Can’t Say I Didn’t Warn You
For the Category 5 Sex Hurricane Fest
Summary: Of all the residents of Valinor, the eccentric and disreputable Maia called Sérelókë would be the last person you’d expect a Valië to call upon in time of need. But Sérelókë is known for his observation and insights, and Yavanna Kementári will stop at nothing to learn the truth of who killed her beloved Trees, and why. Once set upon the trail, Sérelókë will also stop at nothing.
Really. I mean nothing.
And while I can’t take credit or blame for the original idea . . . oh wait, yes I can. I claimed my own prompt.
Notes:This story is not meant to reflect or imply any endorsement by the author of any acts depicted herein. Everything Sérelókë does is dirty, bad, wrong, and dangerous, and I just want to make sure you know I know that. If you, the reader, happen to be struggling with an issue related to the presence of a baleful evil from the Void in the form of a monstrous spider that devours light and vomits darkness, do not attempt to sexually dominate it.
I tried to find some survivors’ resources to link to, but I couldn’t. This might be because there aren’t any survivors.
***
This story was gang-beta’d and loved every second of it. Huge thanks to Marta, BlushingNewb, Winter_of_our_Discontent and Jinglebell for the careful and discerning eyes (eight eyes!) that helped this terrible fic become the best terrible it can be. Since I am an actual arachnophobe in real life, Winter found spider sex articles and vetted them for me to make sure the pictures weren’t too gross, and Jinglebell, who it turns out used to breed spiders, blessed me with a much better vocabulary for the Explicit parts - and inspired me to make it even dirtier.
With Both Hands Thou Shalt Give It, at AO3
End Notes: I’d especially like to thank the Tolkien nonnies at fail-fandomanon, who responded so generously to my questions about how to best render Sherlock’s name into Quenya. Some suggested translating the meaning, and that was a fun (and long) thread to read, but the results didn’t quite ring right to me. I ultimately sided with those who suggested a close phonetic approximation that also wasn’t too far off visually.
I think, when translating a character name into another canon language, a version of that name that scans most easily to the eye and ear is easiest on readers; that’s usually my preference if the name can possibly make sense in that culture in any way.
Turns out Sérelókë really does mean “rest(ing) dragon” in passable Quenya, so I couldn’t pass that up. And since Google Docs spellcheck kept wanting me to change it to “Sherlock,” I felt vindicated in my choice.
“Ungweliantë” source.
The title comes from what, in the book, Ungoliant says to Melkor after the murder of Finwë and the theft of the Silmarils (which is what Sérelókë was hoping to prevent by telling Thorondor to go to Formenos. I had to take liberties with the timeline, though): she wants everything that’s in both his hands. Including the Silmarils. Melkor refuses. She then binds him and is about to devour him, and the only reason she doesn’t is because he screams so loud a bunch of Balrogs come running to his rescue. Even they can’t kill her, they just drive her off, where she spends millennia breeding her spawn until eventually she is said to have died by devouring herself.
Think about the giant spiders of Middle-earth, all Ungoliant’s descendants. Then enjoy your moment of Fridge Horror when you think about what Sérelókë did.
My earlier posts about my, ahem, creative process are all now unfriendslocked. this one sheds some light on my motive.
Rating: Explicit
Pairing Type: Het
Word count: 6,757
Pairing: Sherlock/Ungoliant
Other Characters appearing: Yavanna, Manwë, Tulkas, Thorondor
Challenge/Collection: Category 5 Sex Hurricane Fest
Tags: Casefic, Murder Mystery, Interrogation, Bestiality, BDSM, Interspecies, Crossover, Giant Spider Sex, Yes I Went There, Bondage, Whipping, Xenosex, Shapeshifting, Top Sherlock, Sex Between Semi-Consenting Spiders, Oral Sex, You'd Call it Vaginal Sex If She Had a Vagina Which Technically She Doesn't, Spot the Pratchett Quote, Dub-con By Deception, Did I Mention Bestiality, Also Toplock If I Didn’t Mention That, Dom Sherlock, You Can’t Say I Didn’t Warn You
For the Category 5 Sex Hurricane Fest
Summary: Of all the residents of Valinor, the eccentric and disreputable Maia called Sérelókë would be the last person you’d expect a Valië to call upon in time of need. But Sérelókë is known for his observation and insights, and Yavanna Kementári will stop at nothing to learn the truth of who killed her beloved Trees, and why. Once set upon the trail, Sérelókë will also stop at nothing.
Really. I mean nothing.
And while I can’t take credit or blame for the original idea . . . oh wait, yes I can. I claimed my own prompt.
Notes:This story is not meant to reflect or imply any endorsement by the author of any acts depicted herein. Everything Sérelókë does is dirty, bad, wrong, and dangerous, and I just want to make sure you know I know that. If you, the reader, happen to be struggling with an issue related to the presence of a baleful evil from the Void in the form of a monstrous spider that devours light and vomits darkness, do not attempt to sexually dominate it.
I tried to find some survivors’ resources to link to, but I couldn’t. This might be because there aren’t any survivors.
***
This story was gang-beta’d and loved every second of it. Huge thanks to Marta, BlushingNewb, Winter_of_our_Discontent and Jinglebell for the careful and discerning eyes (eight eyes!) that helped this terrible fic become the best terrible it can be. Since I am an actual arachnophobe in real life, Winter found spider sex articles and vetted them for me to make sure the pictures weren’t too gross, and Jinglebell, who it turns out used to breed spiders, blessed me with a much better vocabulary for the Explicit parts - and inspired me to make it even dirtier.
End Notes: I’d especially like to thank the Tolkien nonnies at fail-fandomanon, who responded so generously to my questions about how to best render Sherlock’s name into Quenya. Some suggested translating the meaning, and that was a fun (and long) thread to read, but the results didn’t quite ring right to me. I ultimately sided with those who suggested a close phonetic approximation that also wasn’t too far off visually.
I think, when translating a character name into another canon language, a version of that name that scans most easily to the eye and ear is easiest on readers; that’s usually my preference if the name can possibly make sense in that culture in any way.
Turns out Sérelókë really does mean “rest(ing) dragon” in passable Quenya, so I couldn’t pass that up. And since Google Docs spellcheck kept wanting me to change it to “Sherlock,” I felt vindicated in my choice.
“Ungweliantë” source.
The title comes from what, in the book, Ungoliant says to Melkor after the murder of Finwë and the theft of the Silmarils (which is what Sérelókë was hoping to prevent by telling Thorondor to go to Formenos. I had to take liberties with the timeline, though): she wants everything that’s in both his hands. Including the Silmarils. Melkor refuses. She then binds him and is about to devour him, and the only reason she doesn’t is because he screams so loud a bunch of Balrogs come running to his rescue. Even they can’t kill her, they just drive her off, where she spends millennia breeding her spawn until eventually she is said to have died by devouring herself.
Think about the giant spiders of Middle-earth, all Ungoliant’s descendants. Then enjoy your moment of Fridge Horror when you think about what Sérelókë did.
My earlier posts about my, ahem, creative process are all now unfriendslocked. this one sheds some light on my motive.
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no subject
Date: 2015-05-20 03:11 am (UTC)I tried to find some survivors’ resources to link to, but I couldn’t. This might be because there aren’t any survivors.
DYING. I haven't even read the full text yet, and I'm already rotfl-ing at the warnings.
no subject
Date: 2015-05-20 04:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-05-20 06:47 am (UTC)I feel like the mere existence of this fic is simultaneously why fandom is really disturbing and why it's wonderful. I salute you.
no subject
Date: 2015-05-21 02:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-05-22 11:11 pm (UTC)(Also, it's apparently getting linked all over the place - my husband was linked to it independently of me, and brought it up with me this evening with, "I didn't read it, I just checked to make sure it wasn't you who'd written it!"
Whereupon I was like, "Ah, no, such creative genius was not mine!" *grin*)
I really do hope you write more in this particular 'verse! I like the idea of John being a Dark Elf, maybe one who has escaped from Angband like Gwindor?
no subject
Date: 2015-05-23 11:00 pm (UTC)ACK OH MY GOD REALLY? Where did your husband see it?
I probably will write more, because I found it worked surprisingly well, and there are so many incidents in the Silmarillion that could be improved by a weird Maiar detective. Yes, I think John is a cranky Avari veteran who is very unimpressed by the return of the Noldor. A reader on AO3 suggested him as a Man, and yeah, I can see it. But I really don't want to write mortal/immortal angst with this pairing in this verse.