A funny thing about grief

[vulgarweed]

When the worst of it starts to abate, sometimes one can almost regret its passing - because, yes, it means the worst of the shock and loss is wearing off and one is adjusting to the "new normal," and starting to return to things that brought one pleasure before...

but it means that as the loss recedes into the past, so does the time spent with the one who has gone. There will come a time when I will go a full day without shedding a tear thinking about her. (Today is not that day). And that'll bring me closer to forgetting what her fur smelled like or what her little chirps sounded like or how she used to greet me at the door when I came home at night and I always nearly tripped over her in the dark.

Comments

[saki101]

I am so sad to read this and feel I know what you mean. The saying is that Time cures all things, but it's more like it dulls all things and that isn't always what we want. Being a writer though, perhaps you can immortalise her in some of your stories and keep some of the memories bright that way.

[silverfox]

*hugs*

This forgetting has always been the worst about parting to me - not just in cases of death, but also when leaving places, people, animals ... even construction measures or website redesigns can hit me like that sometimes. People will say 'you'll always have your memories', but at least my brain is like a sieve and all too soon so much is gone.

That's the one reason I'd like to believe in an afterlife - one where you not only get all your memories back, but you can return to them and relive them. (Yes, even the bad memories. I don't like anything being gone forever.)

You never know for sure that something will be lost, though. Twenty years after the death of my friend's horse I still remember what he smelled like. I've forgotten the exact look of his head and probably many of the adventures I had with him, but I still know what he smelled like.

[pauraque]

Sometimes when I'm grieving, I feel like I'm being swept away by a rushing river, while the person or animal I've lost is left sitting on the bank. They recede into the distance so quickly, and I can't stop it.

[splix]

You're right about that. But I don't think the heart forgets those things, even if the brain does. She'll always be nestled in there, warm and soft and happy.

[donut_donut]

;_;

[write_out]

Grief can be such a strange, bewildering journey. (BIG BIG HUGS)

[myghostlights]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I can relate to the guilt of forgetting little details or being able to go through the day without a constant reminder. But I’m sure she was immensely loved, so nothing can now tarnish the years of happiness you have spent together. In times like these I wish we all had a mind palace with a lil room to replay every memory we want to keep intact.

[nenya_kanadka]

Yes. <3