Pointless GO ficlet!
Jul. 15th, 2005 07:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vulgarweedDedicated to my friendslist, some of whom already have You Know What, and some of whom are terrified of You Know What. Thanks to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
amberdiceless, who reminded me of that great C.S. Lewis quote in a post of hers a few days ago.
Crowley and Aziraphale are dealing with Certain Imminent Events. (which have already happened in the UK). Slashy implication, PG I suppose. It's probably been done before, but hey.
(cross-posted to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
lower_tadfield
“When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be thought very grown up.”—C.S. Lewis
"While I in no way attempt to claim credit for the power of the stories themselves, I must reflect on what it has meant to the world that I once encouraged the daydreaming of a downtrodden young woman in Edinburgh, who was worn down by the world and losing faith in the power of her dreams…."
While I in no way attempt to claim credit for the natural greed and instant-gratification-frenzy of the addicted little heathens who would run down their own walker-bound grandmothers to get their grabby little paws on a copy of the new book, I must pat myself on the back just a little over the shoddy quality of Warner Brothers’ movie-related merchandise…
"…For in this fast-moving, blinding modern world, it is indeed a good thing that children and adults alike will take time out to share the slow, contemplative pleasures of the printed word. They sit under the trees and amid the green grass of creation and savour the pleasures of Ms. Rowling’s craftsmanship. They read aloud to each other, they teach the young ones, and they discuss the moral lessons of friendship and courage and honesty in the face of adversity…"
…And never before have worldwide bootlegging, piracy, creative espionage, and spoiler-mongering run so rampant. Best of all, not only have certain inventive hacks in various foreign parts tried to palm off their own imitations as the real thing for mucho dinero, the Internet has enabled good citizens of all walks of life to unleash their polymorphous perversity all over the place in full view of children and the impressionable, until mental images of wanton orgies of magical, occult-drenched public-school buggery by broomstick, squid, centaur, owl, and flying automobile now permeate the consciousness of millions — perhaps even that nice lady at the coffee shop.
With the practice of centuries, Crowley and Aziraphale smoothly glanced at each other’s reports while pretending not to do so, in the manner of schoolchildren everywhere at exam time, who are never nearly as slick as they think they are. They waggled their eyebrows at each other in familiar unison as they licked envelopes shut.
And this time, they mentally rehearsed excuses, for each was determined not to arouse the other’s suspicion even as they violated long-held habit.
Aziraphale stood up first, as usual, to take his report to the post before it became buried under the next day’s acquisitions. Crowley, as usual, caught the angel’s hand, leaned back, invited him onto his lap. (That chair should have broken long ago, but it was afraid to.)
“My dear,” muttered Aziraphale unusually, “I'm very sorry, but I can’t get caught up in that now – I have plans.”
“Oh really?” said Crowley warningly, secretly relieved. “And what would that entail that’s more important than me?”
“It’s not more important than you. But…well, it’s not important. But I have to…”
“Fine,” Crowley snarled theatrically, “I hope you and your unimportant plans are very happy together!”
“Don’t fly off the handle so fast!” Aziraphale yelled, part of him delighted Crowley was doing just that.
Crowley stormed out. He was almost really angry, yet not quite. They’d finish this fight later. He had somewhere to be.
****
At midnight, it all became clear.
They would have caused quite a stir with what they did when they saw each other in the line at Waterstone’s, had anyone been paying them any attention at all.
amberdiceless, who reminded me of that great C.S. Lewis quote in a post of hers a few days ago.Crowley and Aziraphale are dealing with Certain Imminent Events. (which have already happened in the UK). Slashy implication, PG I suppose. It's probably been done before, but hey.
(cross-posted to
lower_tadfield“When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be thought very grown up.”—C.S. Lewis
"While I in no way attempt to claim credit for the power of the stories themselves, I must reflect on what it has meant to the world that I once encouraged the daydreaming of a downtrodden young woman in Edinburgh, who was worn down by the world and losing faith in the power of her dreams…."
While I in no way attempt to claim credit for the natural greed and instant-gratification-frenzy of the addicted little heathens who would run down their own walker-bound grandmothers to get their grabby little paws on a copy of the new book, I must pat myself on the back just a little over the shoddy quality of Warner Brothers’ movie-related merchandise…
"…For in this fast-moving, blinding modern world, it is indeed a good thing that children and adults alike will take time out to share the slow, contemplative pleasures of the printed word. They sit under the trees and amid the green grass of creation and savour the pleasures of Ms. Rowling’s craftsmanship. They read aloud to each other, they teach the young ones, and they discuss the moral lessons of friendship and courage and honesty in the face of adversity…"
…And never before have worldwide bootlegging, piracy, creative espionage, and spoiler-mongering run so rampant. Best of all, not only have certain inventive hacks in various foreign parts tried to palm off their own imitations as the real thing for mucho dinero, the Internet has enabled good citizens of all walks of life to unleash their polymorphous perversity all over the place in full view of children and the impressionable, until mental images of wanton orgies of magical, occult-drenched public-school buggery by broomstick, squid, centaur, owl, and flying automobile now permeate the consciousness of millions — perhaps even that nice lady at the coffee shop.
With the practice of centuries, Crowley and Aziraphale smoothly glanced at each other’s reports while pretending not to do so, in the manner of schoolchildren everywhere at exam time, who are never nearly as slick as they think they are. They waggled their eyebrows at each other in familiar unison as they licked envelopes shut.
And this time, they mentally rehearsed excuses, for each was determined not to arouse the other’s suspicion even as they violated long-held habit.
Aziraphale stood up first, as usual, to take his report to the post before it became buried under the next day’s acquisitions. Crowley, as usual, caught the angel’s hand, leaned back, invited him onto his lap. (That chair should have broken long ago, but it was afraid to.)
“My dear,” muttered Aziraphale unusually, “I'm very sorry, but I can’t get caught up in that now – I have plans.”
“Oh really?” said Crowley warningly, secretly relieved. “And what would that entail that’s more important than me?”
“It’s not more important than you. But…well, it’s not important. But I have to…”
“Fine,” Crowley snarled theatrically, “I hope you and your unimportant plans are very happy together!”
“Don’t fly off the handle so fast!” Aziraphale yelled, part of him delighted Crowley was doing just that.
Crowley stormed out. He was almost really angry, yet not quite. They’d finish this fight later. He had somewhere to be.
****
At midnight, it all became clear.
They would have caused quite a stir with what they did when they saw each other in the line at Waterstone’s, had anyone been paying them any attention at all.
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no subject
Date: 2005-07-16 12:48 am (UTC)yippee for HBP spoiler-free GO fic that celebrates HBP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
as a
now, when shall we see some post-HBP GO porn, please?
xoxo Mary
no subject
Date: 2005-07-16 12:57 am (UTC)The suspense is killing me, and my friendspage is going mad.
Oh, I'm not getting my copy until tomorrow morning. (It's early evening here). I am a LOSER. So I'm still very pre-HBP at the moment. Patience, patience.
<3
no subject
Date: 2005-07-16 01:33 am (UTC)I'm in CA now - and my book will arrive tomorrow at some point. At least that's what the good folks at amazon assure me.
but i will go see some dressed up fans tonight downtown - after Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, though!
xoxo M
no subject
Date: 2005-07-16 03:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-16 03:40 am (UTC)That's the best icon ever, BTW.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-16 05:31 am (UTC)So... which is Slytherin and which Griffindor? :D
no subject
Date: 2005-07-16 05:56 am (UTC)Aziraphale is very Slytherin (don't let that bookish Ravenclaw exterior fool you), and Crowley rather embarrassingly Gryffindor, despite his obvious fluency in Parseltongue.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-16 04:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-16 06:05 am (UTC)Bet C. was wearing his scarf. :P
(Loved it.)
no subject
Date: 2005-07-16 06:27 am (UTC)Thanks!
no subject
Date: 2005-07-16 11:51 am (UTC)(sorry, lovelet, not a comment on your lovely and charming fic).
no subject
Date: 2005-07-17 03:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-17 11:02 am (UTC)perhaps even that nice lady at the coffee shop.
Snerk. Will now be completely unable to look woman behind the counter in university coffee shop again without pondering this notion.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-18 02:11 am (UTC)I find it makes even mass transit more fun if you imagine that everybody sitting around you is plotting out pornographic HP fanfic in their heads.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-19 04:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-19 09:36 pm (UTC)*dies*
Fetish fic, I dare you!
no subject
Date: 2005-07-20 02:37 pm (UTC)Oh dear. I could almost pull that off....