The Middle Distance

Now that hopefully this "birther" nonsense has been laid to rest, I'd like to consider some of the aesthetic reasons that, IMO, it's a FAIL as historical legends go. It's batshit insane, of course, especially as one goes further and further down the rabbit hole trying to explain why there was already an international conspiracy surrounding the birth of some college kids' kid back in 1961. But it's not batshit insane enough--it's not just that it doesn't hold water, but it also doesn't have enough symbolically-resonant absurdity to make really good conspiracy fiction. Even Robert Anton Wilson couldn't have done much with it.

If you want an example of a whackjob theory that has literary legs, this one is just about my favorite:

Is George W. Bush Really a Grandson of Aleister Crowley?

Did you ever lose a night's sleep wondering that? Now you will. You're welcome.

Yes, this is a real thing, as things go: (warning: links lead to crazycakes)
http://truthalliance.net/Archive/News/tabid/67/ID/336/font-color0079D4Is-Aleister-Crowley-the-Father-of-Barbara-Bushfont.aspx
http://www.moneyteachers.org/Aleister+Crowley+Barbara+Bush.htm
http://www.conspiracyplanet.com/channel.cfm?channelid=39&contentid=4506
http://forum.davidicke.com/showthread.php?t=30953


Behold the face of the New Aeon!



Spew What Thou Swilt Shall Be the Whole of the Law


(Now, in reference to this post, if I were writing historical fantasy fiction about the 20th/21st centuries two hundred years from now, this would totally be true in my fictional world.)

This whole post and its comment thread at Fandom_Wank has me shrieking with laughter harder than anything else in fandom has in MONTHS, and right now I desperately needed a good laugh like you would not believe.

AWESOME.


So I ask my f-list: if you were going to troll a fic-search community in any of your fandoms, what incredibly OTT crack-fic summary would YOU write? And would it be very possibly a real fic that really exists?

If you were going to request a fic of mine but didn't remember it very well, how cracktastic could you make the summary?

If there was a crackfic in your fandom that doesn't really exist yet (as far as you know) but you really wish it did, how would you phrase a fake search request for it?

My state's ex-governor's wife ate a tarantula on a reality show yesterday.

One of our patrons at my fundraising job told one of our callers that she was giving all her donations this year to the "food suppository."


I immediately grossed out everybody by blurting, "It's like eating in reverse!"