vulgarweed: (hello_severus_by_murasaki99)
[personal profile] vulgarweed
The current challenge at [livejournal.com profile] snape100 is a HOOT - you plug "Severus Snape" into the Random Fact Generator (clearly based on the Chuck Norris Facts list) and write a drabble about what you get. Here's mine, posted to both the LJ and IJ versions of the comm earlier.

The Domestic Desperado

Challenge: Random Facts About Severus Snape
Words: 100
Pairing: Snape/Luna
Rating: PG-13, I think.



***

Instead of having a cigarette after sex, Severus Snape heads outside and brands his cattle.



It was a terrible thing for a cub reporter and a newsman’s daughter to keep such a secret: double- and triple-crossings, arcane artifacts, fake deaths, the cover-up complicity of MoM Shacklebolt himself, and most of all…the ranch. Oh, thestrals were to be expected from a misunderstood wizard incognito, but to have his own herd of…

But Luna liked this secret. She lay in the hayloft languid and giggling from endorphins as the very alive—and very virile—Severus disentangled himself from her with a slug of Firewhiskey and a wink, and lit up the “HBP” brands for his Crumple-Horned Snorkacks.



Damn, I need more writing mojo. I've been so tired lately. Chronic anxiety will do that.

Date: 2007-08-16 01:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] last-archangel.livejournal.com
*jaw drops*

Disbturbingly sexy and fabulous. Just fabulous.

Date: 2007-08-16 01:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com
*blush*

Thank you! There's something both disturbing and sexy about Snape the rugged rancher, isn't there? XD

Date: 2007-08-16 01:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] furius.livejournal.com
Usually I don't read Snape fics. I actually accidentally clicked on this lj-cut. No regrets, it's disturbingly interesting.

Date: 2007-08-16 01:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com
Mwahahahah....that's what they all say. ;)

Seriously, thank you - that's a great compliment!

Date: 2007-08-16 03:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dragonlady7.livejournal.com
o
m
g

I may actually have died laughing, I will let you know if it turns out I've survived.

Date: 2007-08-17 12:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com
Heeee.


Oh no. I didn't want to hurt anyone!

Date: 2007-08-16 05:45 am (UTC)
ext_18392: Bodie and Doyle from the Professionals, standing unnecessarily close together. In suits. (old married couple)
From: [identity profile] tears-of-nienna.livejournal.com
Why does that make so much sense when you write it? I mean, Luna's involved, so it can't make complete sense, but somehow I can totally see her up in that hayloft with cowboy!Snape, and damned if I don't really want a piece of that action.

Date: 2007-08-17 12:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com
I want a piece of it too....Snape, I wish I knew how to quit you. XD

Luna's presence, I find, gives me creative liberties in all kinds of ways!

Date: 2007-08-16 07:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shiv5468.livejournal.com
Oh ... that is disturbingly manly of him. It's made me go all hot.

~fans self~

Date: 2007-08-17 12:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com
You should see him breaking those wild bucking thestrals. XD

Date: 2007-08-16 08:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tehta.livejournal.com
It's the HBP brands that did it for me. Hah!

Date: 2007-08-17 12:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com
You know he would. (What else would it be? A Dark Mark? No snakes for him, thanks!)

Date: 2007-08-16 03:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maggiehoneybite.livejournal.com
This is fucking awesome. I'm grinning like an idiot. And the prompt is indeed a hoot.

Date: 2007-08-17 12:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com
That whole game is waaaay too much fun. You should do one - I'd love to see what you get and what you come up with! :D

Date: 2007-08-16 03:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_silverfox/
*giggles* Oh poor Luna! She's finally found them and now she can't even write about it! :)

Date: 2007-08-17 12:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com
I know! It must torment her so. But she's being well-distracted. ;)

Date: 2007-08-17 09:37 pm (UTC)
fyrdrakken: (Saxon 2)
From: [personal profile] fyrdrakken
Oh, that is so very good!

Date: 2007-08-18 07:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com
Thanks so much! :D

Date: 2007-08-20 02:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] divinetailor.livejournal.com
i generally hate faked death gimmicks...but this...

this is what i get for making you cry, isn't it? some mad form of revenge? the kind where i suffer a hot black coffee nasal lavage, fetch my squeegee, attend to my screen, and read it again until my right eye stops twitching...

i knew i was in trouble when i read the word "hayloft." you're a wonder, you are! :)

Date: 2007-08-21 03:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com
Mmmmwahahah. I think I just relished the chance to prove I can still get silly. :)

Date: 2007-08-22 12:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] divinetailor.livejournal.com
don't you know by now that you need to prove nothing to me?

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