The Middle Distance

One of our patrons at my fundraising job told one of our callers that she was giving all her donations this year to the "food suppository."


I immediately grossed out everybody by blurting, "It's like eating in reverse!"

Riddle me this: in a just-under-two-mile CTA bus trip, I gave up my seat twice. (Once because I was in that seat you tuck up when someone in a wheelchair gets on, once for a lady with a baby). Then a random (cute!) guy gave up his seat for me. I wound up setting next to an elderly gentleman I was wondering if I should have given up my seat for earlier, and then he apologized for not giving it up to me.

Funny, cause part of the reason I didn't is because I know there's a fine line to walk between "I am giving you my seat, Wise Elder of the Community," and "Damn, you need to sit down before your bones break, you're OLD!" You don't want to insult someone who isn't ready to be a senior citizen yet.

City people. When we're rude, we're really rude. And when we're not, we're like those cartoon gophers whose names I can't remember. "Oh no, you go first!" "Oh no, my friend, I couldn't dream of being so rude, you go first!"

...going grocery shopping and getting to enjoy the spectacular freaky storm clouds creeping up on the city while waiting for the bus on the way home, feeling that charged wind in my hair as I tote my kill, watching the sunset-ish gold light playing on the leaves spiralling around in the wind and the eerie purple-and-teal-and-olive-green clouds that say YOU'RE IN FOR IT NOW when you live in the Midwest unfurling at the end of your street...

and having the downpour start 5 minutes after getting safely home.

That last storm just blew my window in. Not breaking it - popped it right out of the frame, with sheets of rain pouring in! Fortunately, Phil, the handyman downstairs neighbor was in - what a sweetheart. Put a screw on it so that won't happen again. I owe him a cake!

*looks up at sky* Oh boy, another one!

Ran into divinetailor downtown earlier - turned on the Powers of Persuasion for G's gig at the Darkroom tomorrow night. Lee squee!

And y'all?

Message from your local Grinch to out-of-towners shopping on the Mag Mile: wide crowded sidewalks like the one on North Michigan have lanes just like roads do. Northbound. Southbound. Fast lane. Slow lane. (Yes, I'm talking to you, huge family strolling slowly and erratically six abreast. Nuh-uh.) Meanderthals will, sooner or later, get kicked. Aside from that though, yay! I do like this time of year, I really really do. I even found the last Walgreen's downtown that still had tree lights left.

Because of the nature of our jobs, neither my SO nor I get vacation time at the holiday season. Both sets of our parents came to accept long ago that they simply will not get visits from us anywhere near the Winter Solstice or birthday of Mithras or any of that. Travelling is not one of our options (although it's fine in November and it's fine in January and we'll gladly do it then). This used to make me sad. Now it makes me gloat.

***

I don't make New Years' resolutions either. But apparently two of my favorite characters do! (Geez, am I the last person in the Good Omens fandom to link to that today already?)

Brilliant. That's the last word on Intelligent Design and "core values" as far as I'm concerned.

but the most disturbing revelation...Hell is non-smoking?!

*curses*

*thinks well of COURSE it would be - imagine a nic fit for eternity!*

*considers repenting of many things*

...oh...Heaven is too?

*is glad to not be part of Abrahamic-monotheistic-paradigm either way then.*

***

The SO says, "Don't get me anything, I know you don't have much money."

I persist.

He says, "OK, a book on ancient Persia."

I love.

Damn, I haven't done a public post in so long.

Anyway, it's like this.

Based on my almost 20 years of sleeping beside men (off and on) and even more to the point, my quarter-century of going to crowded rock shows, this I know: "Phallocentrism" is a tempest in a teapot. Overall, I'm fine with the cock. The overwhelming majority of my experiences with cock have been highly positive.

The male body part that has oppressed me all my life is the ELBOW.

***

Ladies, lest you think this is one of those "sisterhood" posts: no.

When I'm waiting in a long line for the only women's one-seater in the club, I do monitor time. Any time past a (small single-digit) number of minutes, I assume by default that you're shooting up in there. So if you take longer than that, when you walk out, even if you're prettier and better-dressed than me, I still feel superior to you because at least I'm not a #(*@$& JUNKIE (and it's not like I never tried it).

If you look too clean and wholesome for that, I still feel superior because I learned to lower my pants, pee, close my pants, wash my hands and get out pretty quickly in first grade*--so either you're on smack or you're mentally about 6 years old.

*'cause my public school had only cold water and no soap, just like this bar.

***

I do love the music so much. I have to.

I'm not a big observer of national holidays. I try to evenly distribute my gratitude throughout the year rather than binge-thanking. (Gods know a day doesn't go by that I'm not grateful for everyone in my life who tolerates my bullshit and loves me anyway...)

But there is a certain spirit to the day, so here are my very today-specific things I'm thankful for..

1. The dribs and drabs of pieces coming in for go_exchange are starting to turn into a small but steady trickle, which means the beta-reading and other modly stuff won't be all crammed into a firehose-pressured deluge around Thursday. Oh, and there's some lovely stuff already.

2. Last week's early deadline at work gives me an extra day to play with. And oh, am I playing! (See above)

3. I live in a city of great cultural diversity and urgency of buck-making. This means that there is Reza's, an excellent Middle Eastern restaurant downtown that throws huge buffet spreads at Thanksgiving and Christmas featuring both Middle Eastern cuisine and traditional American holiday food. This in turn means that no one is expecting me to do any cooking or cleaning whatsoever, but we will have a delicious feast nonetheless.

4. Fandom, again, as always. I don't know what I did with my brain before I found you, but if memory serves, much of it wasn't good.