Housecleaning: not my friend.

[vulgarweed]

So I decided things were kind of out of hand and went on a rearranging binge. It was going pretty well...until I tried to do something with the Closet of Doom. Then my precariously-balanced super-cheap super-fake Yule-tree-in-a-box fell out and hit me in the face.

I have a black eye. A real one. A shiner.

I can make it not-too-noticeable with makeup, but before that it is really quite shocking.

It looks like the sort of thing that no one will believe is entirely innocent.

Comments

[bethbethbeth]

You're right, you know. Saying "My super-cheap super-fake Yule-tree-in-a-box hit me in the face" is the kind of excuse we all use! *g*

*pets your poor face*

[vulgarweed]

Especially in June. I bet people didn't know that Yule trees get really aggressive during the off-season.

[ellimayhem.livejournal.com]

I used to have a fridge magnet my Granny gave me that said "housework if done properly can kill you" - if I still had it I'd send it to you as a prize for your shiner.

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

That's why I avoid it. It's dangerous!

[ellimayhem.livejournal.com]

I *have* to clean over the next couple weeks.... MOM IS COMING!!

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

You're brave. I'll send good vibes. It's a risky mission.

[ellimayhem.livejournal.com]

Eh, Mary has lightened up since survivng breast cancer.

Oh and we are celebrating Patsy finishing her chemo successfully! (Uterine... hysterectomy plus chemo, much suck, but she's got that sparkly attitude that just gets her through things. Wish I had that.)

But... door tops still get inspected for dust...

[waxbean.livejournal.com]

V vs. Yule Tree: Round One, FIGHT.

Oh, V, you lost to a tree? This is a sign -- bad things happen to those who clean!

- seriously, ouch! I hope swelling and discomfort are at a minimum.

xoxoxoMary

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAH most apt use of that icon ever! :D

Maybe somebody didn't like my latest Ent fic. Everybody's a critic.

It doesn't really hurt at all and only seems a little swollen. I was in denial until I saw the fascinating colors.

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

"You should see the other guy!"

[anna-wing.livejournal.com]

"A Christmas tree fell on me" is an excuse that could not be made up.

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

Especially in June.

"Remember the war on Christmas? Christmas is FIGHTING BACK!"

[quantum-witch.livejournal.com]

You can just tell everyone I punched you XD

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

I suppose it's more believable than claiming it was a wing-massage gone wrong. :)

[amberdiceless.livejournal.com]

*Eyes own overstuffed, musty closet with trepidation* Perhaps I'll wallpaper the bathroom first...

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

Mom was wrong. There are evil things in the closet.

Or maybe something was just trying to keep me out of Narnia.

[celandineb.livejournal.com]

It is Karma telling you that it is Wrong to have a fake tree!

*g*

I'm sorry, though, how annoying!

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

I think having a fake tree that can be reused over many years is better than having a real one cut down, just to have pretty lights put on its dead corpse for a few weeks and then be tossed in the trash.

(My parents have a lovely conifer grove that's built on 25 years' worth of Christmas trees dug up at the roots and then planted after the holiday season was over. There are lots of bird nests and delicious morel mushrooms there in the spring. It's a gorgeous place to read and nap and chill on a summer afternoon - but they have land and I don't!)

[celandineb.livejournal.com]

*thoughtful* What would be good is if it were easy to first buy a live tree, and then be able to donate it to the local parks commission for planting. It would save the parks $$ and be good for the environment, too.

[I consume enough paper (just printing out lecture notes, fic drafts, etc. is a surprising amount over a year) that I don't figure one smallish tree every other year or so adds that much to my environmental guilt, and I really dislike fake trees.]

[shadowvalkyrie.livejournal.com]

Ouch!

"Hey, VW, your boyfriend beating you?"
"No. It was the guy I locked in my closet some time around Easter. I didn't think the twiggy thing had it in him!"

(I love the comments in this post, btw.)

And I'm so glad my roommates have FAR more housecleaning enthusiasm than I do. I've lived here since February, and all I had to do so far was occasionally washing the dishes and vacuuming a little. They do al the seriously annoying stuff, like cleaning the windows, scrubbing the bath and sweeping the floors. The downside: they're really bad at it. (Probably due to having been raised with the classical boy bias. *sigh*) But I'm obviously not complaining or they might wonder why I don't do it myself. *somewhat guilty*

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

The best housecleaner I've ever lived with was a roommate for a year or so in the 90s (male) - he'd worked for a housecleaning company a couple of years before when he was desperate for money. He cleaned in places I didn't know existed! Honestly, who gives a shit about the tops of window frames? Only someone who's paid to care.

I have the classical boy problem of "not seeing dirt" too. I was never trained to recognize it, because the house I grew up in--it was never filthy exactly, certainly never unsanitary, but it was always cluttered, because both my parents had better things to do than scrub every frakkin' day. And that's fine to me! As long as it doesn't stink and there's no bugs, who cares?

(And yes, complainers get to fix it themselves. :D)

[shadowvalkyrie.livejournal.com]

He cleaned in places I didn't know existed! Honestly, who gives a shit about the tops of window frames? Only someone who's paid to care.

Back when I was paid to do it, I did stuff like that, too. But in my own home, why bother?

I have the classical boy problem of "not seeing dirt" too.

They don't have that! The guys see dirt I don't recognise unless it's pointed out to me, but they just don't have the techniques to get rid of it down. (Which I, having been a girl in a strictly patriarchial household, was taught all right. I just hate doing it.)

it was never filthy exactly, certainly never unsanitary, but it was always cluttered, because both my parents had better things to do than scrub every frakkin' day. And that's fine to me! As long as it doesn't stink and there's no bugs, who cares?

Exactly! A little dust on the shelves never killed anybody. And because the dishes are the only thing I actually need to be clean, I mostly do them myself.

And yes, complainers get to fix it themselves. :D

It's the system we work by: whom it annoys fixes it. Which, yeah, suits me just fine. *ggg* Most other roomshares have weekly schedules or stuff like that, but here, even those who would profit from it disliked the idea.

I have to confess I did clean the bathroom this morning. Yesterday's comment made me realise what an asshole I am, so I had a little scrubbing guilt trip. Now my conscience is clear for another half year. ";-P

[lacewood-lune.livejournal.com]

OMG - I am very, very sorry about your eye. But *mugged* by your very own YULE TREE??? That's really damned funny. If you *have* to have a black eye, well, I certainly can't think of a more entertaining way to get one. And the comments here are hilarious, too...wow.

Me, I seem to have sunburned myself into having a MUSTACHE. Yep. You read aright. Since I'm too lazy to go out and get a quick lesson in things like makeup foundation that I know absolutely nothing about, I am instead left to wander about getting some very funny looks, since occupationally-speaking I often travel in circles where feminine mustaches are rather less common than in my social circle... *sigh*...

Anyway, I hope you gave back as much as you got! Damn sneaky trees... And that your shiner heals quickly. :-)