The Middle Distance

Oh look - I tripped and my name fell into the Tell Me What to Create meme. How'd that happen?

(Disclaimer: I make no promises I will use any mutant bunnies I may receive. Of course I make no promises I won't, either.)

***

And now the reason I'm using all my raven icons today: as lillithj reminds me, one of the coolest literary traditions in the world unfolded again last night in my dad's home town.

Piratical silliness on the high seas posted to swashbucklathon this afternoon:

Brag It Out with a Card of Ten

Recipient: amor_remanet
Fandom: Good Omens
Rating: aaRRRrrrrr!
Words: 14,000, give or take
Prompt: “The Them as Pirates. REAL pirates. Brian/Wensleydale. Aziraphale and Crowley are optional, but there must be Dog.”
Pairings: Brian/Wensleydale. (with a side of Aziraphale/Crowley and Adam/Pepper, as well as other cracktastic [het!] ‘ships in the night alluded to)
Summary: Pirate Captain Adam Young has something very precious stolen from his crew (especially precious to one member in particular). He will stop at nothing to get it back.
Author’s Notes: Silly and shameless historical AU. The title is a pirate expression meaning to attack an enemy when one is not certain of the outcome. That is, to bluff and charge and hope for the best. Thanks to use_theforce_em for the fantastic beta!

Part 1

Part 2

Sometimes you get the bitey ones. And sometimes the bite reveals pure BAD TASTE. All apologies, especially to my Aussie friends.

Inspired by the "Ligur's Day Off" challenge at go100, although it doesn't use any of the required words.

Off the Record

Words: 100
Rating: PG
Characters: Ligur and...uh...oh god...you'll see.

( needing professional expertise )

will x-post later, when I stop laughing being ashamed of myself.

That my brain is cracking. And rebelling. Little bits of unproductivity keep sneaking out through the work, yay.

This was written for the go100 "Help" challenge. I'll post it there as soon as I can figure out how to do the spoiler warnings right.

See, one of my all-time favorite movies has a remake imminent that I am not looking forward to...

The Consultant
Words: 100
Rating: PG for suggestion of pretty icky violence
Characters: Crowley and Aziraphale
Summary: It's a crossover. And no, it didn't have to happen this way...

( It's a human-sacrifice murder mystery, with martyrdom and apples )

In other news, that Spike Lee documentary on Katrina that's starting tonight on HBO looks like it's going to be really excellent and really hard to watch. Will have to get someone to tape the rest of it for me tomorrow.

Like lots and lots of people, I've been reading the ongoing revelations about truly trainwrecky onionlike layers of malicious batshittery in the HP fandom a few years ago...

metafandom has been chock full of essays lately on what this says about interpersonal dynamics in fandom, the cult of the BNF, the justifiability of anonymity. All of them, I find absolutely fascinating reading. Sometimes I nod vigorously, sometimes I shake my head just as vigorously.

On occasion the point has been made that the cult of the BNF is so overwhelming in HP that everyone can't help but fall prey when the situation goes bad. I disagree, kind of. It's really a matter of where one might have the good or bad luck to "live."

( For length, and a tortured Urban Life metaphor )

And in other news, my fun with the Ultimate Fandom OTP Generator continues to bear fruit.

Check the comments for fabulous crossover crack:

catherinecookmn wrote 2001:A Space Odyssey/Discworld

very_improbable wrote Neverwhere/The Daily Show.

They work.

This weekend, I was getting a series of spam in which all the subject headers were lines from Longfellow's "Hiawatha." It's been stuck in my head. Anyone else get poem earworms?


htebazytook had to go and remind me the Ultimate OTP Pairing Generator exists. It's a black-hole-force time-sink, but sometimes sitting there and clicking really pays off...


Aslan is shagging DickCheney

What's Your Ultimate Fandom OTP?
Shiver My Timber--A Pirate RPG


I want someone to write me these for my birthday:

( cut for absurdity )

OK, maybe not Meatwad.

ETA: The indecently brilliant catherinecookmn has just written me a ficlet: HAL9000/Granny Weatherwax.

Also, in her wonderful CON.TXT recap post, isiscolo links to ellen_fremedon's recap of the Fandom Spelling Bee! Laughing...too...hard...can't...breathe. (As a Regional-level competitor in my childhood, I must admit that this would have defeated me.) Man, I gotta get me to some cons one of these days.

Because my friendslist always needs more of those.

Nostalgia, still ripe: Remember the Spoiler Heard 'Round the World last July? Well, Fandom_wank is talking about it again, and someone produced the link to the collection of friggin' genius photomanips on the subject. Always deserves to be seen again.

(Oh yeah...HBP SPOILERZ OMG!1!)


Shippy Art at its Finest

Art by reallycorking, rec'd by themostepotente. My inner 12-year-old says this is The best piece of Snape/Black fanart EVER and my inner 12-year-old is rarely wrong about such things. (WS, but still pervy)


Day Late, Dollar Short

Remember xylodemon's Snape Pairing Ship Names masterpiece? Many days late, I still made a, er, deposit.

OK, now back to work.

A little while ago I was chatting with a friend about the idea of "fucking the goat." It comes from this classic joke:

A man is sitting dejectedly on a hill in a small Irish town. When asked why the long face, he points to a bridge. "I built that bridge. I built many bridges in my life. Do they call me Paddy the bridge-builder? No." He points to a church. "I built that church. I built many churches in my life. Do they call me Paddy the church-builder? No." He points to the town hall. "I was the mayor for 20 years. Do they call me Paddy the Mayor? No." He shakes his head. "But you fuck just ONE goat..."

(A while back holzman brought this up in the context of how endorsing or justifying torture is a goat-fucking moment. I agree - but this post is far more frivolous, it's about fandom and fanfic!)

My friend I were talking about it applying to someone being stereotyped as a writer of "nothing but _____" even though there's only a couple of little pieces that fit this description in a much, much larger body of work--it's just that the stories of ______ type were so....memorable.

Doesn't matter who or what fandom or what type - I just want to know: have you fucked the goat? Do you think you might have? Do you know someone who has? What are some examples of potential or actual goat-fucking in your fandom?

And oh, no, I have never attempted to fuck the goat on purpose! One might have to write bizarre and squicky things to do that! I would never, I'm a lady! *has vapors*

Also, the funniest fucking (sans goat) thing I've read today? xylodemon's post on portmanteau pairing names involving Snape. With definitions. (So who's he with in the Sniglet ship? Is that another unfortunate Winnie the Pooh crossover?)

I'm working on a lot of things at the moment.

This wasn't supposed to be one of them. But it made me laugh so I wrote it down.

Just a little crack-flavoured alternate take on the "Phoenix & Turtle"-verse; sometime in the 18th century, two woman-shaped beings of angelic stock are having a most productive round of gossip.

Girl Talk

Rating: PG for discussion of other beings' sex lives
Warnings: Use of the word "fagalicious."
Summary: In which the Angel of Inscrutability is briefly scrutable. Annael doesn't fall for it.

( It was only a test of faith )

OK, back to writing...something else.

I'm starting to recover from the jet lag, I think. Now's where I admit what I want - a new iBook. One that's light and small enough that it would have been feasible to take on this trip, one that's better equipped to take advantage of wireless connections where they exist. Because there were so many hotel nights when I couldn't quite sleep yet, and my fingers itched to type.

So, 30_lemons, bwahahah, what have I done?

Help me, friendslist and lurkers.


HP Readers:

Best answer (or justification for a ticky box click) gets a credit and a custom drabble. ("Best" is defined as "what feels the most right to me/makes me laugh the hardest", so don't expect an objective scoring system).

[Poll #720037]


Thank you!

GO Readers:

Same terms, same prize, but no ticky box here. Get creative; make my day!

So Aziraphale and Crowley are giving free rein to their inherent kinkiness. But of course, safe, sane, and consensual!

[Poll #720038]

Thanks in advance for your brilliance.

Awfully frivolous, isn't it? That's what I can handle right now. I'm holed up in my office where Mr. Weed is watching Yet Another 9/11 Documentary and I just stuck my head out long enough to describe what Kabul looks like from the air. Digory is being very needy and I know why. I don't want to go back to work tomorrow.